ilovepie.

Tralala life~

2012-02-12T13:18:00.001+08:00

Actually I do love life, sad and complicated as it may be Friendship problems, identity problems, character problems...
But...
AIIINT ABOUT WHAT'S WAITING ON THE OTHER SIIIIII-IIIII-IIIII-IIII-IIIIDE. It's DA CLIIIIIMBBBBB!!!!!!!!

Hahaha ok jkjk just a bit high now cos
a) I just got my ATM card!
Tan min chih is no longer a caterpillar, SHE'S A BEAUUUTIFUL BUTTERFLY!!!!!! >D
b) my parents are fetching me to dance
C) I JUST BOUGHT MY VERY FIRST STYLO MILO CAP
d) And my jacket for BW Dancefeste, both from Bugis, with weizhang <33

Sian, I'd brought my Polaroid camera ytd but I forgot to take a pic. :( First time going shopping w him!! Properly, anyway. :D
I weeel have to buy him a gift soon ^^ For his bday and vdayy! SO EXCITING

Well JC's been pretty cool (: First week of lectures + dance nearly everyday (though nt all were productive :P), was pretty fun, but I can already sense how hectic and CRAZY JC is going to be.
My first econs lecture was mad, though it was definitely interesting, and all the other lectures were revision la, but still.
Lectures are so scary!!! Then there're like so many ppl Somemore!!!! :/ Feel so small :(
画圈圈 hahaha!!!!

Also, the social life aspect is just...
I'm going to actively try to be low profile, cos getting noticed is just scary I've heard ppl talking about so many things and it's just O.O
Can be a bit vicious... And honestly I've made a lot of my own judgments and assumptions recently,
But if I think about it properly also... Well maybe it just seems to be a certai way from my side of the fence.
I guess it's because it's a new environment...? So it's just a lil freaky for everyone or wdv and we're all reacting in diff ways, or we're just not used to it...
E.g. You can't call someone a "slut" just cos she's always seen hanging out w her guy friends ok like seriously... It may be natural to assume that she's just throwing herself at them but well it's not her fault she's good friends w a bunch of guys and not girls right??? Or that her girlfriends are AWOL/busy!!!
That part there sounds slightly defensive but it'snot about myself, as one may also naturally choose to assume. Not saying that I haven't been called a slut - idk no one has told me that I have been called one.. But as in I'm talking about other ppl.

Anyway JC is scary and ppl can turn scary and I am scared. :( I just need to do well for my grades and dance la and maintain my friendships <33 I will be happy like that xD

Though ok, making new friends is definitely a part of JC that I really like!!!!! :D OGmates, classmates, random mutual friends (:(: super fun!!!
I made this random friend cos he got stuck beside me during econs lecture when the lecturer was yelling at us to just get our butts onto a chair NOWWWW. His name is egdanai. I dunno how to spell :'( I spelled it phonetically :P

ANYWAY TATA dance soon!! No DFC prac today damn. :( but on the bright side there's Styletz prac! And I'm in my cool cap!!!

Orientation's over??? :(

2012-02-05T01:28:00.001+08:00

Actually I can sense this is gonna be quite a long post (or well, not a SHORT one), so probably I should go get my laptop. But I've decided that typing w my phone, though tiring, is not as tiring as getting out of my lovely bed to drag my laptop upstairs :PPP
Pig ttm I know. :(

Orientation was really very fun!!! (:(:
The first two days I felt kinda crappy cos my OG was still mostly very segregated into yknow, the boys side and the girls side, and then I was doing my best to float around but well I still felt awkward most of the time so dillon and I stuck tgt a bit.... :P
Orientation was really organized DAMN WELL and I really had never felt so into an orientation before!! But nonetheless you can't force enthu-ness and err outgoing-ness out of people within a day or two one ma, so my OG took awhile to warm up to each other!
But on Thursday of Orientation, when we went out for station games, I think it really got a LOT better!! We finally warmed up to each other and I reay really had a lot of fun during EA, even when we had to miss one round due to the rain. :(
Can't post a pic now cos I'm using my phone but I will post pics next time!! :P
Had a lot of fun searching for pyjamas at TPY on Thursday night too, and I was really quite sad that I had to leave them early :( Had to go to visit Wz's sis in the hospital :( She has some viral infection.
Friday was quite cool towards the night again haha, I went up for dance off and during the afternoon when they were teaching the last batch dance!!! Lol the first times dillon and I went up we were DAMN synchronized. At the third song we both stun diao. :P LMAO.

The ending of Orientation was damn dramatic but damn COOL!!!!!! :D Set the word ISTORIA on fire at the.. Parade square... Some campfire thingthing.. :P Crappy vocab FTW :(
Then we announced the winning houses and shit... Wa house is SERIOUSLY damn cool in RJC. It's mad!
I super love BW and our house cheer!!!! ^^

Ok so yeah after that we went for OG supper at Manhattan Fish Market!!! Ex... But aiya heck la one might (:

I'm definitely sad that this seriously cool orientation is over, but actually I'm super excited for school!!! I know it'll be tough but omg I cant wait to start joining all the exciting new stuff!!!
For one there's the Take 5 perf, and te two CIP concerts performances, then now we're auditioning for WOW as well...
And then Elaine Dawne jas and I are a signing up for RProj!!
I really hope I get in.... In any case, I'm just gonna try!! You never know if you never try!! (: My sis seemed to have a lot of fun so I really wanna join :/
Plus, she's coming back as a J3!!!! If we're in the same RProj dyou know how cool that would be like SERIOUSLY?!

Sigh. I really need to do more cool shit in my life my two sisters both have big ass titles.. A BB girl, jenell, knew about me cos of both of them de lor! Feels so.. Ok la I'm very proud of them but.. I'm gonna make a name for MYSELF. >< In a good way, I hope. :P through a method that I will be proud of, at the end of the day.. The RIGHT way.

But ok emo shit aside, yeah went to Wh's house for Styletz prac today but LMAO in the end it was a serious epic FAIL!!!!!!! :P We didn't get a SHIT done. Ok la we did prac our usual routine, and also confirm what we're doing for Take5. :PP but Aiyo for the... 6h we were there, what we did was really... Hai. -.- LOL after lunch we completely gave up on pretending that we were gonna be productive. LOL.
Also, WeiHing weizhang and Ernest made an EPIC music video omg I hadn't laughed so hard in so long!! It's so sad that i didn't video them doing it before that haha they were EVEN funnier before I started videoing!!

Went for Jas' surprise afterwards (: WAITED SO LONG FOR THE TABLE THAT I WAS SO LATE FOR BAI NIAN-ING I MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE, TJAT BY THE TKME I REACHED EVERYONE WAS GONE Sadded.... :(
Sigh. :(

Ok and now I'm sleepy so ADIOS AMIGOS I posted the video on FB!! ^^

2012-01-29T11:28:00.002+08:00

Heehee just watched our Styletz PULSE performance again:') Aiyer it was really a very good perf leh i really like it!!!!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2389252125542&set=t.562213051&type=3&theater

Hehehe... And we gonn get better for our next perf...

Which is...

FOR TAKE 5!!!!

wahahaha SO COOL RIGHT!!!! My heart does backflips whenever i think about it i'm DAMN EXCITED!

Damn excited also cos this means we're gonna be choreo-ing new stuff and OMG it's damn exciting to learn new cool shit choreo and perform it as a crew!!!! :D

Haha still need to confirm with the teacher i/c, apparently. But i think it should be ok if we don't have vulgarities in the song, do provocative stuff, blablabla the usual. (:

Yirong had asked me and i told her yes of course before i even asked styletz LOL :P

Lucky they said yes LMAO.

We're also performing for a march concert, probably we'd do the same piece. Just realised that march isn't THAT far away already WHAT THE??!?!?!

Anyway. (:

Hmm what have i been doing the past two days gosh..

Oh yeah ok so on Friday i worked for 7 h (eurgh), feet nearly dropped off, then weizhang came to pick me up and then we had Baskin Robbins at Nex!! (:

The next day aka yesterday i found out that apparently my coworkers saw me there... MALU. :(

Haha oh yeah!!! Also, at Baskin Robbins I ran into Nadia (MALU AGAIN :( ) and then she shun bian asked me to join she and Rachel for DANCEFESTE!! Some interhouse dance comp in RJ i think?

She asked me to ask mayo too! DAMN COOL LA WAHAHAHA omg damn excited SO MUCH DANCE STUFF NOW SO EXCITED. :D

Apparently street dancers can't join though because they're organising it, so if me and mayo get in (fingers crossed) we dunno if there'd be probs...

Hm o.o

But oh well... Either way. (:

Walked home with Weizhang afterwards and we had a good talk <33

Not really one for public display of affection (over the internet i mean (;(; ), so...

Yeah...

I'm just very happy now. :P

Everything I could ask for in a guy. Problems will come and go but it's okay, beneath it all he's still what i want. (:

ANYWAY. Saturday was SATs, aiya dont really care so i'm not even gonna say much LULZ.

Went for Styletz prac in school afterwards, I CHOREO-ED FOUR COUNTS WOOHOOOO. :P

Learned some breaking stuff from weihing, felt very cool as long as i didn't look in the mirror. :P

Yeahhh. Went for work afterwards and had the worst working day of my life. :(

Think i made at least... 5 mistakes?

Many of which were BIG MISTAKES. :'(

But at least i seem to be quite... Haha i dunno how to say hm.

My cai2 yun4 is very good this year LOL i signed up two bakerzin memberships w/o even promoting it they just asked me to help them sign up!

So i got 2 bucks heehee.

Then also, i got to eat Cheese burger at Bakerzin yesterday. :D

WHICH WAS BLEDDY GOOD.

Ok now i'm tired of writing and i'm hungry so TATA~~~~ :D

HAPPY CHINESENEW YEAR

[oh yeah, and also i got 2 angpaos from Bakerzin! One from big boss, one from one of the chefs!! And i was damn lucky cos apparently he hadn't come for the prev few days yet he did come when i came!! YAY]

2012-01-26T00:38:00.004+08:00

Feelin sleepy now.. Sleep late and study SATs and possibly be quite unproductive,

or wake up early tmr and study SATs and probably be quite productive - IF i manage to wake up?

Life.

LULLLLLLZZZZ.

Haha who'm i kidding i don't care about SATs that much i'll go to sleep right after this. :P Wake up early to study tmr!!!

I'm not even waking up early cos i'm trying to mug it's because tmr i'll beo ut the whole day AGAIN and really not studying at ALL for an exam would be mad so i shall at least try to study a bit.

Shit man I paid for that shit..

ARRGH

But no la aiya study now also useless.

I have been memorizing the vocab list though. 8D Ok 7 pages out of 50 ohmigodwhattheheck.

Garrulous!!

Laconic!

Pithiness!

Portentous!

Recondite!

Circumlocutory!

Verbose!

Voluble!

ok haha this was my self-test. :P

Sigh haven't gotten anyone to properly test me on the words yet..

Ok secretly i like mugging this kinda stuff :p Memory work stuff is fun!!!!

But aiyer for an exam.. Feels quite sian lor... :/

OK ANYWAY WHATEVER.

CNY has been good good but yknow.. It's.. just.. like any other CNY lor. :p

Had a hilarious reunion dinner thanks to my joker of a grandpa <3

Can't say what he joked about sadly but omgzzz haha i love my family (:

CNY always does make me feel grateful for my family, it reminds me that i always have this network of support no matter what hahaha (: (:

I'm not taht close to my extended family sadly... But aiya.. Maybe when we're adults and our interests will be more similar...??? Aka money and current affairs LOLZ.

Visiting is always fun, but of cuz what we all really like is NEW YEAR CLOTHES!!!!

Haha ok ok what we really like AS WELL. (;

Day 1 outfit i didnt really take a pic, but well there is a pic of me and my sisters' polaroid!!

Day 2! I took the pic for Styletz and Co. Haha someone wanted to compile a pic of all our CNY outfits but i dont think anyone did get around to it. :P

Look a bit awkward cos like.. I don't haev any accessories and my hair totally shouts WHATEVER IDGAF :PP But aiya i was home the whole day til i went out for dinner!! Nehmind one la :PPP

Kkaeez.

Partly also because i'm tired now, i have nothing else eto say about CNY :(

I think i'm just tired. :(

Sigh... My life.

Need to be more present.. Sometimes i feel like ti's really just flying by too fast and i'm barely living each moment before it's just GONE like that. :/

Sigh.

But ok today was many moments of happiness hehe had a DATE with my dearest zhangzhang.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA jk i do not call him gross pet names.

Weizhang.

Yes.

Hhahahaha :D

Anyway, started off with heading to Tanjong Beach, our lovely hideout, early in the morning before his dear lifeguard friends were even out for duty lolz. Thank God we went so early la!

When we went back the monorail entrance was really DAMN crowded with ppl!!! :O

Mad. o.o

Wore my new beegeenee that my G7 TENtacles aka 110'11 Classic gave me for my birthday!! <3

I love yall i really miss you guys i hope we do grow closer even though we are not in the same school anymore!!!!

Haha have a lot of fun with yall and you guys are all such nice people i always feel comfortable with yall.

And also you guys are so nice to me always. :')

Muacks. <3

IDC i will organize some outing next week by hook or by crook!!!!!

Love the bikini they bought me!! I think i like it even more than my old one blehhh. :P

Comfier. LOL.

Anyway some pics!

He's my handsome boyfriend and honestly everytime I look at him I feel so amazed cos he's just a heck of a guy. <3

Also, he's as retarded as me. Which is rare.

HAHAHA. <3

My really CRAPPY hair after it dried without me washing it! :P We took a nap after frolicking under the burning sun, and obviously taking a nap with your hair drenched in sea water is not the smartest thing to do.

<3 I love this pic. (:

LOL mud mask for my leg. I like this bikini more than my first one!!! :P THANK YOU G7 <33

Yeah... The modelling genes all went to my sis...

Kk blablablaaa,

afterwards we ate at The Asian Kitchen. Didn't feel like paying service charge for the little service they gave us but well service is still service, no matter how grumpy they are being -.-

Made it a point to be very polite to every stall we visited afterwards (which was a few LOL we are pigs :PPP

Felt good when this guy at the ice cream shop who was initially very blank faced smiled back afterwards (after a few thank yous for various different things) xDDDD

WHEEEE good mood today. :D

Yuppz then afterwards we went back to his house and chilled as we always do (;

Watched Meet The Parents!

Wa.. That movie.. Hahahah if someone really kena so much crap when they visit their gf/bf's parents hor... LOL super suay can!! :PPP

Ok yes so anyway now i will go to sleep cos my eyes are like - -

NIGHTNIGHTZ

OHOH AND I'M IN BW08!!!

I can't wait to find out the rest of my OG!

My OGmates aren't filling in the googledocs. :'( Sad.

Ok i'm going off now tata!! <33 GONG XI FA CAI EVERYBADEHHH!

2012-01-21T20:49:00.002+08:00

I PRAY that all those who wished me happy bday will see this!! -->

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your birthday wishes, i read all of them, promise! Sorry i don't have the time to reply all of them individually, but i am really so grateful for your well wishes (:
To all my juniors: YES i will never forget you guys, i really do care for all of you ♥ No matter what i hope you guys always remember that you have a friend in me (: If you have any problems you can always talk to me about them and i promise to help! And even if talking is not what you need, just know that you are loved and there are people (aka me HEEHEE) who care for you!
To all my friends: Thank you for caring for me always regardless of how crazy/literally RETARDED/stupid/weak/bad tempered i may sometimes be. Also i know i don't always do enough to show you guys that i appreciate your friendship, whether we are close friends, best friends, normal friends, or good friends, but i truly do appreciate the true genuine friend you have been to me, and i pray that God will give me the strength to be as good a friend and person to you as you have been to me. (: Same thing, no matter what, i will always be here for you!! I know i don't always act very.. supportive-y cos i can tend to just act crazy just to avoid deep/thoughtful things, but truthfully, i do care and i do want to help whenever i can, if i can. ♥

And since CNY is coming also,
thank you family for everything ♥ I can be an absent daughter sometimes, but i will do my best to be at home whenever i can, and I love you. ♥
Was talking to __ yesterday, and i realised something- family isn't a NEED. i don't mean this as in i don't need you pfft, i mean it as in family doesn't stick around because they HAVE to, because they are OBLIGED to, we stick around because we matter to each other, and we love each other. Even if we have problems, i know that ultimately we don't want to lose each other and look back and say SHIT i miss you, what happened to us. I love you guys no matter what, and i'll do my best to make my love more evident in my daily life. ♥

Lol this is my latest fb status :P

I meant to make it a short status but once i started typing i couldn't stop!!! :P

Love you all, family, friends, weizhang you too (whichever category you fall under LOL).

2012-01-21T19:35:00.003+08:00

Am delaying dinner now because i just ate bbq wing and meat balls at Tori-Go with Qianyan and Jas just now so i shall use this time to make a post!! (:

My birthday bbq yesterday was wonderful haha that was the best birthday celebration i'd ever had. :P

I mean.. Ok la i didnt plan it well (cos i'm a pig) and i didnt do a lot of things to make it a real PARTY but i mean well..

it worked itself out as BBQs always do!

I do regret not getting to spend more time talking to some ppl who left early (especially for thsoe i forgot were leaving early la walao D:), but i'm really glad that they did came in any case (:

Was really very sad when a few people told me at the last minute that they wouldn't be coming....

But oh well (:

I still had a good time!!!!!

It was the first time i started a bbq by myself - ok even so, not by myself (with the help of the awesome Guider Mayo, Joy, Weizhang, etc :D). But hey! NO ADULT SUPERVISION YO!

Was really thankful that God stopped the rain in time for my party!!

It was still really PISSING down when me and weizhang got to the bus stop Opp mandarin gardens at 230, so i prayed really hard that it would stop rainign in time,

and it really stopped by 4, and the food came at 430!

Purrrfect xD

I was a bit stressed the whole time about whether my friends were having fun and whether they felt left out, but aiya...

They're my friends (: In the end it all worked out i guess! I was just glad that they were there and we were all spending time together enjoying food!!!!

P.S. EZB bbq is REALLY very good haha if yall ever have BBQs order from there!!

They have freaking awesome SHITAKE MUSHROOMS too! I would gladly have exchanged all the chicken wings for more shitake mushrooms ohmigod I LOVE MUSHROOMS.

Idc that yesterday we didn't actually DO much, i really felt so happy that everyone (well not EVERYone) i loved was around me. <3 My family, my juniors and friends, weizhang... (:

Got a new bikini from my dearest 110 Classic <33 G7 TENtacles <33 I love it guys thank you!! <3 Yes i promise i will wear it LMAO.

I miss you guys and i really hope we get an outing soon!! You juniors all taking on sec 4 now. :'( JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOUUUU!

Liza Jiamin Limin i've seen yall since sec 2 and oh damn now you guys are the seniors... I just feel so weird man that you guys are like BOSS of the school now!! But i know you guys are capable and strong enough for it. (:

MUST JIAYOU!

Must stay in touch with us k and I'M GLAD WE STILL HAVE ONE MORE YEAR TGT!!!!! <3

Weizhang haha thank you for your special surprise too :')

Yes you do make me mega happy and regardless of all the problems we are facing now i am happiest when we are together. :')

-- Hehe for all those not in the know, Weizhang prepared (with help from all my dear friends of course) a HAPPY BDAY MINCHIH surrounded by a big heart with tea lights and then he danced Love on Top in front of everyone for me :')

Omg i was especially touched when he grabbed hold of my hands half way through during part of the dance.

And OMG it was in front of my parents!!!!!!

Sigh.. :) I don't care that our future is still a slight question mark, but I know now that this is what i want and i will work hard for it. (': We will <333

Yes you do make me very happy. <3

Also,

THANK YOUUUU CMMEN+ netballers + weizhang & co. for the polaroid camera ZOMG!!!

One of those things i would never buy but secretly want.

I LOVE YOU ALL <333

And now i am pissed as hell (i'm sorry for the very WEIRD change of mood LMAO)

because my phone is being crazy D< Trying to restore it and stuff, just changed phone cos my previous phone's lock button is spoilt.

Heart broke a lil cos i lost all my pics and well.. I generally tend to get attached to things that have been part of my life. :(

But well... What's important is what they symbolize, not the object itself. (;

Damn stressed now i hope the back up shit works.

Generally today i'm also quite happy though i didnt get to go for service (me jas and qy tried to call a cab but it just didnt work -.-),

went shopping by myself (it's actually fun yknow!!!) and i bought:

1. $46 chomel crucifix necklace

it's a splurge i know but i've wanted it for a very long time!!!! And heck it's my bday gift so.. (:0

2. $25 Miniaturesomethingsomething (forgot the brand) purse

Bought it to store my phone, charger, money, eyeliner, bb cream, etc!

AWESOME.

3. $24 Lots of hair accessories

Yup i think that's it!!!!

oh and new earrings for me to wear to school, too. (Y)

HAPPY GURL.

Now there is just the irritating detail in my life called MY FUDGING IPHONE WHAT THE FUDGE PLEASE WORK!!??!?!??

~

2012-01-19T17:52:00.001+08:00

Otw home now so I will just post a quick one (:

Me and weizhang are back together now LOL.
I guess after we broke up we just kinda realised that we didn't love each other as friends even and we just wanted to be each others' special loved one...

I mean... The prob hasn't gone away la yknow but... At least now we're on the way to resolving it (:
it'll take a lot of time to fix it and a lot of time to build something proper back up, but it's something I want (: And well it seems like that's what he wants too (:
Super scared and stressed about a lot of things but... Guess we'll just focus on working through the problem and pray that we will truly come out stronger.

I've never had a guy like him before, and I've never had something so special before... I guess after i broke up i realised that i just don't want to let it go just so easily either I guess.
No matter what the problem is... We're special tgt.. And until we feel that either of us are not what we want..
I guess we should try our best to hang on..... (:

The short 7h break up was worth it. LOL.

2012-01-19T00:31:00.003+08:00

So i am now 17 lmaoooo. :O Doesn't feel much different.

I've never actually been THAT big on birthdays.. I mean sure, i love to milk it (just like the general population ehehe) and squeeze gifts out of everyone. :P

But i dunno.. This year i don't actually want anything

Ok except a cat or a bike. But those are big things which are like.. mian3 tan2 :(

.. I do really want a cat. I have already fallen in love with the RJ cat :(

See!!! --> It loves me too!! <3 Sleeping on my lap, fyi. LOL.

Ok la i mean... According to jinghan it's a whore and it does that to everyone :'(

But it's ok Tommy was a whore too, I will still love him forever. :'(

And i will love the rj cat forever too!!! :D

Well anyway... Aiya whatever la i don't have much to say about my birthday LULZ :( pathetic, i know. -.-

I'm just... I don't know ok can i not treat this as a birthday post grrrr LOL ok i'm not AHHA.

End of birthday post

Happy birthday to me LMAO. :P

Oh but ok before i end the part of my post dedicated to my birthday-ness, i must say a big THANK YOUUUU to Weizhang and his friends, Qianyan Zhanchun and Evelyn for surprising me after work just now at Ice Cube (:

i've never had a birthday surprise before honestly so yeah.. I was quite touched! (: And his friends are all damn freaking funny so i had fun too!! :D

Lol qianyan especially hahaha :D

It's still a bit funny knowing her through weizhang now liddat cos i mean yknow she was jas' friend in my mind all along then BOOSHHH suddenly she is my boyfriend's best friend too and it's like.. :O Haha but thank God she is so nice so... :D

Zhan Chun too haha he has/had been the most supportive of me and weizhang since the start (:

I'm happy for wz that he has such best friends (:

ok now the birthdaypost is over.

Anyway i'm just going to pretend this is not my birthday and type normally le lorrrzzz. xD

So.... I am obviously not the type to hide my thoughts nor feelings, but i have learned more about this beautiful thing called censorship now so i will err type with caution LOL. Idc who i actually tell, but i guess the internet is just not the appropriate place to .. splash my thoughts on so...

Yeah...

Ok whatever.

i remember years ago, someone told me i should take caution when it comes to love, i did, i did.

I don't really like showing emoness on my blog honestly (except when i am actually in my deranged state of emoness when i just have to pour it out la haha --- but now i'm not in my deranged state and i'm simply full of.. emotions. And i just need to you know.. Let it out, not pour it out. Also, I now have peace in God, and so regardless of how angry/upset/hurt/shocked/confused i feel due to certain reasons (not just one).. I know that it will all be fine, and He has it in control, and that I am loved.)

Anyway...

Where do i start?

Well ok so.. The past few days must have been the most painful in my life, yet at the same time strangely a good turning point.

Lol ok i typed that at 1am, now it's 415am, and me and weizhang have broken up.

It is.. Very weird.. We actually broke up at maybe 345? I dunno... LOL we...

I dunno. HAHA we are just like ok lor liddat lor.

Basically.. we both had a very logn talk (of 3 h), and we've discovered that maybe although we loved each other very much at the start, something's gone wrong, and now.. we only love each other as friends?

I .. can't say i feel no pain,

but.. definitely not the pain i'd thought i will feel.

It's a.. hopeful type of feeling. I feel regret that what we had, which was REALLY very special and beautiful, got lost somehow,

but.. I know that ... we had the best time of our lives, and....

we're wiser now. (:

The next time we both get into a relationship, we'll be ready. (:

Guess it's. Right Guy, Right Girl, Wrong time...

But it's ok.

Cos thank God we had the talk, i don't think i'll feel one bit awkward at all.

That's a bit sad too.

But well...

I'll always love him but maybe well.. you3 yuan2 wu2 fen4.

We were both very serious and our hearts really connected and it was the happiest time of my life.

But well... Sometimes we just have to accept that things can change, and that we will change along with it. Sometimes our feelings can change too and welllll yeah... We're gonna be great friends :D

Weird i is. o.o

2012-01-15T10:47:00.003+08:00

Haha school has been fun (:

I hate the actual program but omg i'm just so glad that i'm back to seeing my friends everyday :D

Was overexcited the first two days so i kept hanging out with Weizhang, the rest of styletz, etc though. I mean cmon we are FINALLY in the same school, it feels damn cool!! :D

But i realised over the weekend that i cannot continue this way brrr i need more balance + omg been pangseh-ing my friends!!! :(

So next week i won't hang out with weizhang as much, shall make up for my negligence. :(

Had a lot of fun on Thursday though haha we went to the mansion aka Weihing's house to playyy!! (:

JOKE sia we played hide and seek, then swam in the pool (i waded), and then played CHARADES.

Hahahaha we are epic :D <3

I love us!

Hide and Seek was monotonous until finally we had weizhang as the catcher ^^ He took i think.. 40 min? I dunno, more than half an hour to find all of us :D And in the end he gave up, for me and weihing LOL. :D

Weihing's auntie did help me cover up though hehe when weizhang asked whether i was in the kitchen ^^ TEEHEE.

Had mega fun in the pool even though i couldn't get my clothes wet cos Weizhang let me sit on his shoulders and he carried me around!! :DDDD

Made me miss my dad/ being young. :'( Damn fun anyway LOL!

CHARADES WAS A JOKE omg had not laughed so hard in SO LONG.

Ernest is so funny LOL omg i wish i could describe it in words but nothing can describe it in words <3 ^^

Well yesterday was pretty cool too, though honestly i'd rather not talk about it cos there're many depressing thoughts overshadowing everything...... :/

But ok Nick's party was fun for me haha :D Can't really say which part it is that i liked but i had fun (: (:

Aiya want to say some things but too sensitive for a blog so forget it.

TATA i'm going to play SIMS OMG SIMS!!! <333

2012-01-08T20:59:00.002+08:00

Life. PFFT. Sometimes it hits you like a train.

Haha kidding :D I think it's PMS or something, having massive mood swings these few days.

Sometimes i'll feel so EMPTY,

then other times i'll feel so SAD,

then other times i just feel APATHY.

Mostly i read my book. (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. Already on the third book! Damn good series but well it's just not EPIC :/ Harry Potter can never be beaten)

I think this is because I have not been connecting with God often enough.

Sister ... oh shit bad with names sigh. This senior in Trinity told me, when i converted, that she hopes that this will mean the start of a wonderful journey, and will not be the end.

Now i know what she meant.

It feels as if after I converted i got lazy...

Which.. is weird.

It was like.. I know He's there, and that's enough to satisfy me.

But i don't think that's enough, to just be firm in my belief.

I think I need to have Him in my life more, I need to actually reach out. :/

So i will really try to go to church this saturday aka 14 jan!!!!!!!

But it's hard to squeeze it in with dance too I want to go for an O School class...

Shall have to travel fast then!! Somerset - Bishan - Tai Seng(?) - Bus?

How long is THAT gonna take man. o.o

Maybe i will try this route out on Wednesday night when i go for Fredy's Street Jazz class. The bus will go straight to my house anyway! xD

Hohummmm i have had a good week! (:

Spent the first few days back in Singapore sticking to weizhang LOL, then finally broke out of it and went for sleepover at HUANG's house!!! <333 :D

We baked brownies!! First time ever yo!! :D But ok she did most of it i just mixed and licked afterwards. :P

It was fun, sleeping over :D But sadyl we ended up just treating it like a normal ... hanging-out-ness and we didn't do anything special other than the brownies.

We'd meant to swim in the morning as well but LOL guess which loser couldn't wake up :PPPPP

Instead,, we went for a facial to fix my horrid complexion. It'd been so screwed up since i came back from Europe, couldn't take it anymore~!

Now i look horrid-er but at least i know it's on the mend. (:

Went to ECP with Elaine and Sub afterwards!

The place is so PRETTY now they must have done some major work there or whatever, it's so beautiful (:

I used to dislike ECP cos it was too damn crowded and just too... Too not pretty it wasn't a NICE place to go to.

But omg it was so pretty this time! (:

And we went out to Bedok Jetty to stare at the scenery and sunset-ish too (:

SO PRETTY!

and that was when i also decided to have my birthday party there :P

I didn't want to have a bday party cos i was damn lazy to plan but HECK haha if i was gonna have four separate outings with four diff groups of friends, might as well hold a party. :P

20 jan!! (:

Can't wait.

My birthday's 19 jan so it's pretty near so i'll still feel pretty cool.

I've used a lot of 'pretty's in thsi paragraph...

Hm.

ANYWAY. (: i dont think it'll be awkward la there are now like.. 47 on the guest list so.. there should be enough people such that the diff groups of ppl won't feel like they actually have to socialize with each other?

Cos it can be like that when diff groups come tgt at a party...

Not that socializing it is prohibited of course but i just dont want anyone to not enjoy themselves because they feel uncomfortable with the other ppl they don't know!

So my strategy is that everyone invited can invite one other friend (as long as she/he knows a few others as well and me la of course :PP)

SMART RIGHT!!!

Though now i have to doubly emphasize that this isn't a PARTY party but just a GATHERING, BBQ party thing.. Cos i am so not organizing games for 50 odd ppl. :P

Can't wait!!!

I like the beach a lot, i have now learnt over the holidays.

And also sitting at cafes, reading books. :D

Ok i have to go off now tralallaaaaa~

Learned Drunk on Love at class today, also. :P It was a VERY nice dance but i just couldn't do the kicks and stuff properly. Need foundation la that type. :/

OK NOW BYEBYE XD

2012-01-02T14:55:00.001+08:00

I am back home at last! (: (have been for a few days actually)
Paris and London was... Ok honestly I was quite disappointed cos it wasn't that fun... Not my type of holiday (: Too much sightseeing.
I did love the experience nonetheless though actually! Europe!! (:
Paris was only awesome because of the Christmas fairs. Got ginormous cotton candies, tons of hot dogs... Damn. :P
Explains my weight gain heehee ^^ But I don't regret a single bite I took!!! >D
Sigh dunno what's wrong with me, but I just wasn't iterested in the landmarks at all. Ok la felt quite cool I guess... But after 2 min I got over it. :P
Went to Champs Elysee, Eiffel tower, arc de triomphe, sacre Ceur, Norte dame, louvre.... And there was some shopping at Lafayette but not much. Oh and H&M! (:
OH we also saw Sharon Au heehee!! Damn cool :P

London was good though. Also cos it was safer so overall the experience was better. (:
Went to visit my Mum's old campus at Oxford, Dad's old dorm at LSE, saw the usual - buckingham, Big Ben, Tower of London, Westminster abbey, etc.. Also watched Wicked!!!! WICKED WAS WICKED ( HAHAHAHA see what I did there xD )
Went to Leicester Square, Trafalgar Square, blablabla squares. :P
Went to Stonehenge (which was boring but I won't tell my parents yet (nah jk we've complained a billion times)) and went to this WONDERFUL outlet place called CLARK'S VILLAGE. Dream come true man Everythig cheap like shit!!
Bought Adidas high tops, Clark's Oxford flats, and a cute sling bag!!! (:
London was beautiful (: Hope to study there next time man the place is just so peaceful :') I can see why so many great artists and shit went to London!

Ok bye. LOL. My lunch has arrived :P
Happy new Year!!

2011-12-18T22:26:00.003+08:00

Haha very lazy to post but will just do a quick one cos this will be my last one in a long time.

Going overseas tomorrow morning, 9am! (:

Goign off to London for a few days, before flying to Paris for Christmas. (:

Honestly i'm super excited!!!

I've never been to Europe before, plus i've never been to a WINTER COUNTRY for Christmas~!!

Double happiness. xD

Heehee! Somemore the trip this time is 11 days, it's going to be so super shiok!

Gonna be a great break, hope i manage to really have fun and just relax, and get recharged for JC. (:

But at the same time i honestly feel a lil sad to be going..

For one I won't be seeing weizhang duh haha cmon it's expected right that i'd feel sad :P

It's especially hard cos there hasn't been even 3 days where we have not seen each other, since we got together. :P

So... 11 days straight is like. :'( Da pongz....

Sigh.

Will really be quite sad also, that I won't be able to meet up with any of my friends for Christmas, won't be able to go to church... I need to go to church man sigh. Meet my new cell!! ^^

Darren called me after UWB on friday and told me i'd probably be in his cell!!! So excited!!!

Speaking of which UWB was GREAT!!! Wadashit. Ok la i guess some parts weren't as mind blowing as i had heard it would be, but honestly it was a good show.

I was particularly inspired and awestruck by Rie Hatta's item.

When the item started my mouth really went :O

I had to REALLY close it back hahaha it wasn't like some act.

Siao liao!!

Ok but yes anyway...

Will miss my friends in Sg.... Miss a lot of them already... Holidays have been too packed with random rubbish, haven't organized enough outings...

Sad. :(

JC IS STARTING SO SOON ONCE I GET BACK!!

Cannot tahan this arrgh.

Went for Steamboat with Weizhang in the afternoon hehe, first time i let him treat me to lunch. It was supposed to be a fancy goodbye lunch where we try to act all mature and adult-y.

Was quite successful, the food was really awesome and it was so fun to experience such a cool meal with him haha xD

And of COURSE, i made him go with me to Bakerzin for dessert afterwards LOL.

Not the MyVillage one duh, but the Suntec one!!

Ordered the Dessert Mealbox. YUM. ^^

Had a very satisfying day out, before we finally came back home... (:

Sigh.

I think you'd be hardpressed to find anyone more happy than i am now. ^^ Ok no la that sounds funny. Basiaclly, i super happy now xD

I mean ok i have little bits of unhappiness but well... what could possibly be better than this, I have everyone I love in my life loving me back and ahh... It all just feels so jolly. xD

It's never a smooth road but yeah... The most important things are intact so..

Thank you Jesus. (:

More importantly, i have made up with a friend!!!! (: Though not in the way i expected/wanted but... Well, anything to keep a friend. (:

... Oh yes and i also forgot to mention.

LOL my flight was actually 18 dec 0200, meaning last night.

but my family missed it cos we thought it was 18 dec night, at 0200.

Ok, not we.

MY DAD.

Hahahhahaha was so surprised my mum didnt yell her head off.

Your patience gmh mum. :D

formspring.me

2011-12-14T15:14:00.001+08:00

; baby you're a firework, come on, show them what you're worth (: http://www.formspring.me/Minchih

2011-12-14T14:04:00.010+08:00

Wassup in the hizzouse mah homies.

Yoyoyo!!

Hahaha anyway, i have been having a mostly awesome time (:

When was the lsat time i even blogged..

Idk.

Anyway i'm sad that my little reprieve from work is ending soon :'(

But heck it's only one day (tmr).

THEN I HAVE 10 DAYS IN PARIS AND LONDON.

BOOYEAAAHHH.

I'm really quite excited hehe it's gonna the first time i've been to a European country!

And i'm gonna go to two coolass ones at once!

AWESOME.

My mum will bring us to Oxford to meet her tutor, and we'll also even stay over for a night at one of her tutors' house and decorate his christmas tree!!

Super exciting (:

Have been spending my break from work well i guess, been playing playing playing xD

But i wish i spent more time with my family...

Spending the afternoon home today although i so dearly want to go out, just so that i will.. Well.. be at home!

Haha it's not nice to be out all day i guess.. :(

Tonight when really EVERYONE is home (only my dad's not home right now) i'll be going off to O School for Open Class though...

Sigh.

Life.

It moves too fast.

But heck.

I'm going to be spending a LOT of time with them in the near future.

HONESTLY I CAN'T WAIT!!! :P

But i will miss people here. :(

Walao eh no internet there.

As in sure la, got internet, but my mum says she's so not paying for the wifi.

And i'm perpetually broke so...

No internet there. :(

I don't think i'm even bringing my phone..

Maybe i will?

I wanna use it for music.

See how la~

Procrastinating having to prepare for the trip...

Though i am preparing something else, not quite for the trip... ^^

HEEHEE I'M SO EXCITED i can't wait to see his reaction once he gets it.

HAH!

But anyway nuff said.

Past few days..

Hmm ok Monday Me kailing alch elaine dillon and weizhang went out to Mind Cafe and then later watched NYE together. So lame la, everyone except kailing came on time, but none of us called each other so we didn't know we were here,

So we waited for half an hour until finally i called to ask where they were and they said they'd been at plaza sing for 20 min alr.

LAME.

I did buy my Smiggle's pencil case though hehe at plaza sing.

I can't wait for the rest of my friends to get it!!!

We gonna look stylo milo. <3

Not that we don't already. (; HAHAHA jkjk <33

NYE wasn't a good movie imo.. I mean.. In weizhang's words, just go download it. :P

No point paying for it cos it doesn't have a good plot. It's another annoying show with just way too many storylines liddat to feel like a very good movie.

I guess it was not that bad though, honestly, the underlying message.

Give love a chance, have some faith and hope...

Not bad la.

Tues and Wed were EGGCITING FOR MEEEE~

Went to the beach twice! (:

Both times with Alch, and on Tues weizhang joined us after his shift was over.

I took pics of him in action aka blowing his whistle and yelling for ppl to not swim so far out!!

CHECK MR. SEXY OUT -->

Sigh my camera's lens can't zoom that far... But nvm YOU CAN STILL TELL IT'S MR. SEXY.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

It took him damn long to realize that there was this stalker girl taking photos of him la lol ^^ Fail.

I guess this is why i feel preeetty assured that he won't notice if girls are trying to flirt with him and stuff. (Y) Berry good berry good.

Tuesday was damn fail, me and alch went to Siloso and the sun sucked like SHIZZZ and there was the fencing from ZoukOut still, LITTER everywhere (ok not really everywhere but well ther WAS litter), the sea water was gross with idk ... sticks? seaweed? whatever it is. IT WAS MURKY.

And in general it just didn't feel very .. idk it wasn't pleasant to be lying on the beach there.

We took some pics la, but that was like all we really did and after awhile it was like ARRGH this is lame we're not getting any tanner and it's just UNCOMFORTABLE with all this muck around

Also, we came pretty late... 4? So we had to leave soon for dinner. 630.

In the end me and alch decided to go again today!! (:

We went to Palawan today. :D

Anyway before i post all the pics and also gush about the awesomeness of Pretty Palawan,

I better remember to mention that yesterday i went for dinner at Weizhang's house!!!!

His dad was overseas so i just met his elder sis and his mum.

I've already seen them on quite a few occasions so it's not like it was my first time meeting them so it was quite ok (:

I'm still not VERY comfortable with just talking to his mum yet, but i feel quite ok with his sis :D

So yeah all good all good.

It's a bit scary for me personally to be meeting the family cos..

It sounds like a big step, yknow??? I mean i guess it's all in the mind la, like well in the past it is EXPECTED that you MUST meet the family asap once you're together..

Whereas now it means like idk freaking MARRIAGE or something..

So i'm a lil weirded out but ah heck, just gotta... go with the flow, do whatever it takes to make things work. (:

His mum prepared KOREAN BBQ for us and it was just HEEAAAVENLY.

I really really loved it it was AWESOME! (: I've only eaten like that one time in Seoul Garden only, and even so it's a bit different nonetheless.

She prepared ... idk what veg it was err cabbage or lettuce to wrap the rice and meat in, and also some seaweed.

It was really really GOOD.

I would have taken a hell lot of pics but aiya a bit rude yeah??

So i just sneaked one at the start!

LOOKIE!

SO. AWESOME.

AHHH.

I'm HONESTLY drooling already, just thinking about last night.. D:

Hehehe anyway, today was so awesome!!

The sun was just BURNING on us and there was wind occasionally, plus there weren't too many people either!

And not to mention that the sand at Palawan is super clean, water too!!

I am SO obviously biased towards Palawan/Tanjong. :P

We had a REALLY good time today instead, so glad we decided to come again!! (:

Was very happy that i got to bond with Alch, too. (: Talked about qquite a lot of stuff too, did all sorts of crazy shit.

Haha tried to make her talk to the lifeguard but she didnt want to in the end. D:

SAD.

HAHA.

I think i'm addicted to the beach now.

Lying there and doing nothing and just chatting and acting like a bimbo is damn fun!!!

It's also super fun to like bake under the sun for awhile, then go into the water and come out feeling SUPER refreshed!!!!

Alch so lucky la, have such nice hair

And not to mention that we kept awkwardly having to find a way to lie down because my small loser of a mat wasn't enough for both of us. :P

What a joke we are. :P

HAAIZZ but it was fun. (:

Super fun. <3

Don't give two hoots about the order so.. It's a BIT messy.. Lalala!~~~ :P

Happiness is a choice

2011-12-07T00:50:00.001+08:00

Many things are choices in life,
Including what you choose to think about,
Including your mindset,
Including your attitude.

I guess I kind of learnt that today.
I feel good (: I feel strangely positive and optimistic.
I dont think that I can so easily achieve some sort of inner peace just like that of course, but I know that I am going to work hard to control myself more do that I can actively choose to do better things and react more positively, not because I should,
But because I want to.
Because being good feels good,
And doing good feels good.

The realization came today at Bakerzin as I was observing people (as always, actually :P).
Errr I guess I shouldn't go into specifics, don't wanna get into trouble LOL,
But well a simple sincere thank you can make someone feel that much happier and give someone a more enjoyable experience,
While a more self-centered, less.... people-centered (LOL 4Ps WADAPONG) reaction would trigger an eye roll or a scolding instead.
It's so simple to just be nice and be kind for the sake of it!! It all stems from the mindset that we have to respect other people, other things, HECK, NATURE!

It's something I need to have INGRAINEDDDD in my life and my mind and all that.
I believe in it, so why is it so hard for me to live it out sometimes to the people around me?
It's simply because it's only an ideal for me now.

But NO!
No more!! From now on it is a part of me! It isn't going to be my GOAL cos that's just... A bit... Idk a bit too pretentious? IMO.
But I'm going to try to just simply make it a part of who I am.
If who we are is what we believe in then isn't it already what I am? I guess what's in the way is my instinctive selfishness, laziness, and badtemperedness.

.... I think a lot...
BUT IT'S MY BLOG SO TOO BAD I'M POSTING WHAT I WANT LALALA.

Anywayyyz...
On a side note...
FREAKING SUNBURNT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN DAMN LONG!!!! Went to sentosa with weizhang again, went early before his shift started (:
Then when he started work at his coolass lifeguard tower I sat nearby and read my book! Stupidly sat half-facing the sun, so my left side is sunburnt while my right isn't.
But oh THANK YOU GOD for making my tan overall even <3

I got a bikini tan on only the left side of my back though....
NEVERMIND THERE'S NEXT WEEK!!!!! <3

Choosing to be happy -.-

2011-12-06T08:53:00.001+08:00

GRR I am... Exasperated. So much crap in so few hours ><
but it's ok.
I am positive.
Happiness is a choice. D<

Anyway ok I had fun performing with my elder sis for her j2 prom (: That was when the happy times ended But before I talk about the crap, I shall say that although I was sick and more than a few times I wanted to just heck it and pull out, I was very glad that I chose to do the performance with my sis.
Ok it was a joke of a performance LOL like literally :P But still.
It's been.... At least 5 or 6 years since we did a performance and it felt pretty good to be hanging out so much!!! :P
and ok mostly I was super touched when she shouted to the whole ballroom afterwards that I was her sister and all that. <33
And she hugged me onstage!!!

I love you da, you're the best elder sis! My best elder sis <3

And ting in case you read this, you'r not TOO bad a little sis I guess.
HAHA no la joking ting I love you very much. (: Stupid and irritating as you are. ... Though you can't win MEEEE in being irritating HAHA. <3

But anyway that's where the crap started sigh after I left Swissotel I went to Plaza Sing to buy the stuff for my little picnic tmr aka today, and there I lost my wallet at the... Tables beside Each a Cup. Sigh...
The shock is over so...
Ok main losses: It was ****ing Gucci, my Polaroids (3 of them...), my straw heart, my UWB ticket, my ez link card, the lip balm my mum gave me. Thank God my mum forgot to give me allowance yesterday so I didn't lose too mch $$$.
But OMGNESS.... Really....
Unless it's happened before you just don't know how painful this is!!!!!!!!! :'(
I cried when I realized I'd lost certain things...
Walao.... Sigh...
I prayed for awhile at first that whoever took it would return it...
But after awhile I realised it wasn't happening...

Comforted myself later at home by saying that this is God's way of making sure I won't become materialistic because of the stupid brand, or making sure I won't get mugged.... I guess...
Sigh now I don't feel that ANGRY anymore I just feel... Idk. GRIEF. Haha over my wallet.
ARRGH... My polaroids... Straw heart... Lip balm... :'( I'm NEVER keeping anything valuable inside again.

Sigh.

Anyway, and this morning I woke up extra early to make the food so that I could make it in time to go replace my ez link card then go to Sentosa. But NOOOO my luck is just that good, hougang interchange's ez link card ... Replacement place was CLOSED.
I went too early AGAIN, like when I signed up at O School....

Sigh. It's ok...
No rain no rainbow.... At least my mum wasn't very angry over the lost wallet :X

Positive.
Happy.
Yay!

2011-12-01T11:48:00.003+08:00

LOL you find that when you're sick at home you really have nothing much to do so you just keep going online...

And thus i am now blogging even though really i have nothing to say...

Cheated abit yesterday and went out with weizhang for awhile at night.. I think that may have potentially made me more sick :(

But whatever WHAT'S DONE HAS BEEN DONE~! :P

Felt bad for not being able to congratulate him properly on Monday for his job,

so yes yesterday made up for it lor!!! :PP

Oh yeah haha speaking of which - he's a lifeguard at sentosa siol!!!

Haha while i'm supposed to pretend it's no biggie and he's just good ol' weizhang mah brudder,

WADAFUDGECAKE LIFEGUARD SEHHHH

LIFEGUARD DAMN COOL LEH!

JEALOUS!

While i'm waitressing at Bakerzin he's blowing his coolass whistle and sitting on his tallass tower watching people..

Watching bikini babes..

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm i think i'd better have a talk with him soon about the consequences of infidelity. Aka possible castration. >D

HAHA no jk of course.

He tells me a girl already tried to talk to him but he didn't respond (;

HAHA so cute :PPP Yes babe good job you were a good loyal boyfriend.

<333

Anyway where was i...

So yeah, went out with him yesterday night, but other than that for the past two days i've really just been wasting them away doing nothing :P

Watched Friends (ok i've rewatched it a BILLION times but i just can't get over it!! The show is just TOO GOOD! The characters are each so unique and so like.. Idk the show was produced well, each character just felt so real and all. Like i realized that stuff like their costumes and everything all matched their char and ahhhhhh. I just love that show i'm sorry i'm weird like that D: )

and then i downloaded like.. 8 new iPhone games..

Few of which i really love are Snoopy's Street Fair and Temple Run.. and also Sushi Go-Round.

SUPER FUN OHKAYYY.

Snoopy's Street Fair ain't THAT fun but it's just cute to play, the err... Graphics? are very nice and stuff (:

AIYA download it then you'll know what i mean!! (:

Needless to say i found all these games through the Top 25 Free list on App Store. :P

Okay and now i am bored...

I would TRY to conceptualize our performance but my elder sis is still conked out..

Grrrr.

Wait til after lunch i guess! (:

I hope we can rush it by Monday lor!

This is the shortest time i've ever had to rush a perf sia.

Kk tataaaa.

2011-11-30T22:39:00.002+08:00

yknow that feeling when sometimes you look at something and then you just suddenly get this really WEIRD feeling?

Like.. Just feel like it means something more or whatever?

Or like it's just special?

Ok.

I think i'm just weird...

But anyway,

these two pics make me <3

And idk why, but yes - here they are (: My new desktop bg!

2011-11-29T16:39:00.003+08:00

honestly a little lazy to post today but i have nothing else to do to kill time...

I've already prepared a LIL more for my mega big surprise.. ^^ But yeah i'm still feeling a BIT too weak to do a shit.

Ok maybe later i will do it after i post and get a snack.

Sickness does this to you, screw up your system and schedule. :(

Felt like dying yesterday LOL. Mum says that it's because i've been overexerting myself. Dance, work, occasionally go out, give tuition...

Tiring :(

But honestly today after calculating how much i have so far earned..

DAMN IT FEELS GOOD.

A little sickness is worth it. :P Omg my priorities are (Y).

Plus, the sickness let me stay at home today instead of going for the Dancepointe rehearsal.

Feel quite bad about that though, so last minute pull out.

Sian as i am about travelling to RP and all that nonsense, i know it sucks even more to have to last minute cover up for an absent member.:(

I feel bad!

Somemore thanks to me DFunkatron is going to do BGGG instead of Goodbye Baby cos there were formations for 5 ppl for BGGG already. :S

Sorry guys and thanks for being supportive to me nonetheless <33

Yesterday i already woke up feeling like crap, had a headache. But i still went to work, and then as i kept working the headache slowly worsened...

Then as i travelled to Elaine's house i swear that i could literally feel the blood pushing up into my brain.

It was terrible!!!

But yeah at least i got there safe and shizz. Would have just ran in the rain from the bus stop to her house but given my condition i decided that i'd better not risk it, so i had to trouble elaine's maid to bring an umbrella out :(

I think i'd better do a better job of tutoring brian hahah better work harder since they're so nice to me sia!!!

I shall make sure that he gets the difference between 's and s, is are was were. OH and let's not forget this that those these.

THE BASICS ARE IMPORTANT GAIIZ.

After i finally finished teaching him i ate dinner - well i didnt eat much.. feel super bad about that.

They specially cooked more dinner for me but all i ate was one wan ton and half a bowl of rice... :( Couldn't tahan sia i felt like puking alr! In the end i slept for 10 min and had brian wake me up afterwards (HAHA he is actually super cute and naive lor. Just prone to yelling and screaming. Are all boys like that as kids???)

Listened to Brian talk about how best to kill the big monster in his iPad game for awhile after that as i huddled on the couch to attempt to store up energy for my journey afterwards..

Kids are amazing. LOL.

Met Elaine at Island Creamery afterwards, where we found ALCH.

HAHA alch. <3 We had a HELL of a time kachiao-ing her lol.

Things we did:

1. force her to let us try nearly every flavour

2. ask her to come to our table to take our order

3. asked for chicken rice and laksa

4. asked for hot ice cream

hmm what else was there. :D

Can't remember already LOL but either way it sure was lightening my mood!

But by that time i was so weak that i was crouching down as i talked to her sia.. Couldn't help it though, TOO FUNNY TO STOP.

HAHA.

In the end me and elaine shared a Dragonfruit ice cream.

Hmm... I think we should have gone wiht like burnt caramel or something more normal.

Dragonfruit sorbet wasn't THAT awesome. :(

The other flavours were awesomer!

But guess what?

Afterwards i just felt SO shitty that i slept for like 1.5 hours.

Hahahah that's what true best friends do ok, sit without complaint as the other embarrassingly sleeps like a pig at Island Creamery. :P

I love you baby <3

I think everyone must have been like WTH la LOL where got ppl come Island Creamery sleep.

But damn i was burning up by the time i left :(

Met weizhang afterwards lalala thanks for picking me up! <3

I was honestly getting a little worried by then about fainting LOL i had to walk damn slow already, fever was going upupup.

<3<3<3<3

OH well.

Still felt sick but felt happy all the same.

I should make a movie or something LOL i'm so.. cliched.

Thanks for accompanying me home sugar. HAHAHAHAHAH. :D

Anywayyy.

MISS A PERFORMANCE ON SATURDAY.

I didn't go full out cos of the stage and stuff but that's no excuse either lol my face was like o.o half the time i swear.:PPP

2011-11-24T17:56:00.001+08:00

-- i just have to add - but nonetheless,

i am still going to choose to try and be happy.

cos i know that i am very blessed,

and i will cherish everything i have now. (:

2011-11-24T17:09:00.003+08:00

Just got let off early from work today (:

Was supposed to have a 7h shift (omg right ARRGH) but it got shortened to 5h,

cos today it wasn't particularly busy.

Except during a certain point in lunch. It was FULL HOUSE man! Ok one table away to full house.

Stressful ok!! :(

Had to practically run around cos whenever one task was over i'd have to get started on another.

Bring someone their parmesan cheese, now go print the bill,

then bring the others their drinks, go take an order, blablabla.

MADNESS!

Haha but it was fun nonetheless.

And it was also awesome today cos the kitchen burnt someone's croissant ^^

So me and huihui shared it since it wasn't burnt too badly.

SHIOK SIAAA.

Bakerzin is seriously a damn awesome restaurant and confectionery. :P

If i weren't a worker there i would grab my friends to go eat there with me and chill.

It's super comfy and relaxing too, at MyVillage - like, there are couches instead of seats, and then they won't chase you out usually cos the business isn't crazy most of the time.

I would go study there next year but siggh it would now be awkward since i workingthere this year. :P

Maybe i would..

Dunno! See howwzzz.

Is it weird or what lol i'm quite excited to study for JC o.o

I have a strong feeling i will regret saying this within 2 weeks once jc starts.

Only saying 2 instead of 1 cos i know the first part is filled with talks only. :O

Anyway, going off to prac with DFunkatron at Novena later to try out the stage for Saturday's performance.

Still not that familiar with Goodbye Baby the rapping part..

Hmm.

Shall need to clarify that before we try the stage later!!!

Sigh been feeling a bit funny these days.

Some teenage identity crisis.

A lot of the time i feel as if i'm living someone else's life.. I don't mean this as in i'm doing what other people do or what other people want me to do.

I mean it as in..

I'm ME but in another person's body, going through the motions and living out life for the other person.

Is that weird?!

Yes it really is. LOL :(

Like.. when i go to work versus when i'm at home chillin out alone, the personality/character that occupies my mind seems to be different.

Ok, of course i have to act a little differently la, in the different settings.

But it feels like i'm in a daze sometimes and i'm just DOING stuff...

I feel a bit depressed haha i wish i could live my short life more, i feel like it's passing too fast,

and more importantly i feel like i haven't REALLY been living at all.

It's like this isn't where i belong or something...

Maybe i'm a wizard.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ok couldn't help but add that in :D

Aiyer dunno la.

I need someone to talk about this to. Shall grab someone out asap.

Maybe i need to go to a psychiatrist! Or an exorcist!

I pick the latter that seems more exciting.

Though then again, be careful what you wish for eh? :O

Okok as i was saying.

Yeah, like.. When i look at pictures of me sometimes it's just like...

MMMM that's me?? Or like.. Yknow i can't look at that picture and imagine that i'm the one in it, or that i'd taken that picture.

I mean of course i know i took that picture, but it just feels..

I dunno.

I thought being busy would help in making me feel that life was more fulfilling, but going out often and getting a job,

even doing more for dance and stuff...

Doesn't seem to be doing much for me..

I mean, i'm HAPPY with life la don't get me wrong, i'm happy that i have a really supportive and loving family, a caring and sweet boyfriend,

but somehow i'm not... hmm... i don't feel like this is where it stops, in a sense?

There's something i'm not doing enough of, or i'm not noticing......

Can't figure out what.

DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM?!?!??!??????

OR AM I JUST WEIRD!????

2011-11-23T20:06:00.004+08:00

Today was awesome (:

It was spontaneous and fun and i was happyyy xD

Had meant to go for RN trainign @ sentosa in the morninggg but i didnt go in the end.

Cos ok i woke up late alr, so i was rushing down to vivo so that hopefully i could hop on the bus la,

but then dawne said mrs j asked in the sarcastic manner 'Why cant she just take the bus'.

And then later dawne and elaine both advised me not to come if i was wearing my tank top w my bikini showing cos mrs j was pretty angsty and she was going to very possibly scold me for it,

So honestly i just decided that i saw no reason why i should still go down and very possibly have to shou4 qi4 for something that in my personal opinion isn't wrong, especially since i've graduated.

But i mean, maybe it would have been inappropriate in a training with juniors?

Don't know... basically in the end i decided that i didn't want to make myself angry or have mrs j kick up a fuss due to my attire, and i just stayed away.

No one would have missed me much anyway we've graduated lolol :/

So in the end... I just called weizhang to please please please meet me earlier so that the two of us could go to the beach instead!! xD He was supposed to only meet me at 1130 :P

Hehe i called him at 8.

Thank you sugarbunnypie HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA if someone else woke me up that early i would have killed the person.

Especially when the someone called 3 times and woke you up 3 times. :P

Thanks for coming lalala ^^

Waited alone at Coffee Bean reading newspapers for two hours before he finally came though.

It's actually quite fun to be alone yknow seriously!! I'm going to do it again sometime :D

Plus, newspapers aren't all THAT boring, i learnt today! xD

So yes - we went to Sentosa afterwards.

Nearly purposely went to Palawan beach to say hi and stuff but i decided that may be just a bit too awkward so we went to Tanjong beach instead! (:

Stupid sea bugs made me quite itchy... But yesyesz it was fun. (:

The beach there is so quiet, just a few angmohs spread out on the beach and stuff.. And the water was very clear i could see my feet!!! (:

Super cool hehe my first time there (: (: (:

Hahahahaha weizhang didn't read my message properly (it's all YOUR fault D<), so he had to go in in his pants. HAHA.

We couldnt spend much time playing cos we had to factor in time for his pants to dry LOL how lame :'(

Had fun acting as if i was some super cool person afterwards and i took out mah shades D< But it was too troublesome so i took it off after awhile. :P

But yes -

SEXY???? >D Haha ok it was worth a shot. D:

Watched Apple of my Eye afterwards! At last haha have heard many ppl praising the show.

It was not worth THAT much praise in my opinionnnn..

It was very touching that's for sure hahah but as a movie.. I mean, like no climax sia!

Then the plot is simplistic. I mean, there's basically no plot!

I dunno.

It sounds typical to me. :(

Like,nothing really stood out that much from the show.

Except when the male lead kissed the guy at the end.

That stood out.

It felt super cool to buy the NC16 tix and then not even NOTICEEE that it was NC16 though. >D

LIKE A BOSS.

Hahah! (:

Ok now i gtg walk the dogs...

Tata babehhhz.

PURE AWESOMENESS

2011-11-22T19:42:00.001+08:00

I need to go to church so desperately but this Saturday I have the Miss A performance at Novena so I can't.. but it's ok, I know Jesus hears me wherever I am!! (:
I feel so sucky I have not prayed enough recently. Past few days I've talked to Him otw home and before I sleep, and yup I wish I were closer to Him cos He's given me so much, and I'm really grateful for it. (:

I had a really HORRID day at work yesterday, but it was compensated for by the awesomest day at work today. (:
I have this theory that you can never have life perfect and every bit of happiness comes with a bit of eventual sadness!
Weizhang says it's bullshit. -.- In front of him I more or less pretend I don't hear it but I'm sorry babe I still believe it. ^^ HAHA.

I broke a mug yesterday... It was TRAUMATIC... Sigh was too distracted with my thoughts... :PP Heehee. I tell you, it was once Ernest sub and ShingLiang came in to kachiao me that my thoughts all got disrupted.
But thanks for coming guys it was quite funny haha and I'm glad y'all came down to support me!!!! xD
It was so stupid la I was clearing the last table outside, then when the straw of the Green veggie soda dropped I bent down to pick it up, and then the stupid soda itsel spilled over, then when I bent over to pick up the leaves on the floor, the next drink spilled over, and then as I was getting up, the stupid mug just toppled off. -.-
Thank God it was closing and no one saw me... It was embarrassing. I just stated at the mess for awhile in shock before I finally went in to face the music :'(
But thankfully chai yoon is merciful hahaha she didn't dock my pay!!!! :D
But I must take extra care to not make mistakes alr.

But at least I was cheered up after work. (:

Whic I didn't make much of today >D
Today my primary school teachers came in lol!! It was a pleasant surprise xD
they remembered me yay!!!
Had a really good day la actually, a new girl came!!
At last I'm not the newbie :P Chai yoon even let me brief her how cool is that!!!
She's 16 also though, from peicai! (:
Her friends all coming next week, too.
Lol then Nicole joining this week. We can all hold a party. LOL.

Ok I can't wait now MUAHAHA getting back my laptop tonight YES!!!! :')
Bye byezz!! (:

P.S. take a look at my sexy boyfriend HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Sorry weizhang I'm sure you don't mind right? (:0

2011-11-18T12:13:00.014+08:00

I am going to finally post photos from the various events in my life which i have been too darn lazy to post about :P

It's likely that i'm not going to say a thing after finally uploading everything cos i am the human representation of the word "LAZY" :(

One day i'd say something i'm sure. Next post maybe? :(

FAM, Graduation and USS are things i want to remember that's for sure!!!!!

Later on, back at cara's house <3

BEST DRESSED TABLE LALALA <3

+ chin and amelia :(

sleepover at cara's house later was awesome haha the best part is waking up to macs breakfast <3

I love my batches!!!!! :DD Awesome friends for lyfe! <3

Hahahaha alch brought me to the 'magic wall' to take pics ^^

sexy mama squelchy alchy ^^

Me trying to act demure (;

BEST DRESSED TABLE >D

410!!! <33

Nicole elaine and i (: LOL check out my elegant pose. :P

Throughout FAM i got a billion "MINCHIH CAN YOU NOT BE SO UNGLAM WHEN YOU'RE DRESSED SO NICELY?!" :P

Born this way. D:

Alagu's pretty nails on the left and mine on the right!

I got my very first manicure just for FAM at far east. ^^

But guess whatttt i rubbed it off yesterday because of work. -.-

I only found out i couldn't have a manicure during work.

Doesn't life suck.

Karen and me!! DON'T BE FOOLED. I AM ACTING SHORT. >D

SPSB 2011 <3

Me and ms fan! Super awesome form teacher woohoo xD

Amelia chin and i!! :D

GAM >D we look so STYLO woohoo!! Alagu and ginteng looked super pretty that night i'd have ___ed them up >D (i know you guys are gonna read this HAHAHA)

The 3 out of 5 from CMMEN who went <33

Hehe i was too lazy to stand up so i made them take a pic like that ^^

Me and huang <3

Was very proud of my long eyelashes that night. It's rare for me, k??? :'( Haha!

WAN LI LOOKING MEGA SEXAYYEEE~!!

Just had to post this pic - Van Yap looked mega GORRRRGEEEOUUUUS and BEYOOOOTEEEFFULLLL!!

AHAHAHA joy the invalid and vic the japanese <3

Havinnn the time of our liiiifeee~!!

Me and alch again xD

I like this pic a lot haha the camera settings were JUST nice :P

And ting en looked damn COOL wtheck her hair damn nice! Pris looked super sweet and alagu...

Let's have ___.

ME AND DAWNE <333 I love you babehh <3

SPECIAL PROJECTS FTW!! Love ya maegan <3

Chin akoo and jas :D

HUIZHEN! BOSS! :D Haha! Obviously pretty ttm DUH.

Me and ah ling <333

Me and huang chillin at Cara's house before fam :D

JOY looking very sexy. HAHAHAHA.

USS!!!!

when i look at pictures like these it's pretty hard to believe still everything that's happened :P

it's like, been too fast and also it always seems like we're such an unlikely pair.

but nonetheless i treasure every moment together heehee and

i won't easily give up on our happiness together :PP

Always happy when i'm with you (:

I guess the way it happened super fast will have to be compensated by a long long long time of togetherness. HAHA.

i survived one of my biggest fears WOOHOO i sat on both galactica roller coasters!! >D

HAHAHAH us getting strangled by Kung fu panda. :P

A real life ogre guys check it out!!!! ^^

HAHA jkjk. I made him do that. :P

always wanted to be a princess :P

the water show later at night (:

Ok i will post another day, i swear!! :P

PULSE! &Bakerzin <3

2011-11-14T15:55:00.001+08:00

Feeling on TOPPPP of the world right now I've had a wonderful past few days (:
Ok it's not like they were PERFECT and went by without a glitch but... Idk why LOL but I feel a sense of fulfillment :D Like, this is the LIFEEE man (: I have people I love around me, I have so much to learn and so much to keep doing and stuff, I just feel a very... Hmm... I feel, like, "YEAH MANN this is what life should be about!!"
Of course it would be better if there weren't that many glitches... But well I guess the ultimate happy ending is enough to satisfy me. :P I'm such a shit. :P

Prayed a lot in the past few days, to thank God for everything in my life right now... (: Yesterday was our one month, too ^^ It still feels like it's just the beginning in a way, even though it also feels like it has been passing quite slowly.
How peculiar. O.O

Sigh. (: Happy gurllll.

Anyway - Saturday I went shopping for costume and stuff w weihing sub and Ernest first before we went to weihing's house to prac! (:
It was super fun and I feel like I'm finally starting to become better friends w each of them. (: Now it feels more natural, hanging out w them xD Yay!
Hopefully one day our outing will happen. Or our BBQ at weihing's house!!!! Maybe we should throw a party there man, with our...

PRIZE MONEY BABYYYY!!

Styletz won 3rd place for PULSE! hiphop competition!!! xD WOOHOO!
I am a BIT shellshocked and unaccustomed to that idea cos a) we only really finished everything on Saturday before dinner, b) I actually won at a dance competition?!
Well, we did join the Junior cat la hehe :P There were two zaikia crews and another quite good one though!! Regardless of whatever, we're grateful for our win, and for the judges' good comments >D
Other than the fact that locking was a bit off (:P I bet that was my fault OMGGG I look so unnatural locking seriously), they said it was entertaining and they enjoyed it!!! And it wasn't like monotonous. (Y)
I think our concept won us our 3rd place a lot more than the technique - that shall need to be improved on!!! :P

THANK EUUUZX everyone who came to watch sia <3
I love you RN and ALCH KAILING KITTY <3 And ohoh Matt yash iman also came to support the guys (; qianyan too!
Thanks!! <333
Your support meant a lot!

I shall post the link to the video when I eventually get to the computer. :P lazy la, for now. :P

Also had my first day of work today, at Bakerzin (;
I would write more but I'm TIRED and I gotta prepare for shopping w Elaine later!!
It was super fun actually hehe my coworkers and the manager are all super friendly and supportive!! :D They're so nice!! :D
If I didn't have them I bet I'd have taken a LOT longer to calm down from my initial nervousness.

Restaurant work is NOT easy I swear :P But it's quite fun too (:
There are a lot of details though, like keeping the spoons when they order stuff like salad, keeping soup spoons when they don't order soup, blablabla...
I got a uniform too!!! Pic's at the bottom of the post xD

My first customer was difficult though :( I ask a few clarifying questions then he like v irritated alr :( I was so But I got better afterwards and weeeeell he was just a lil grumpy :P So. YAY!

Got my free lunch, too. Spaghetti Aglio Olio!!

Including my meal, I earned... 36 bucks approximately!! (;
Shiooook. I LOVE MONEY.
Haha!!
Okok gtg now, gotta paint my nails, too!!

FAM!
Ttyl!! <3

2011-11-10T23:01:00.002+08:00

Sigh.. My mum just forced me to accept reality, that i'm not getting a MacBook Pro.. :(

Actually truth be told I don't really want it all that badly la, if I can't get it.

If i could though.. DAMN.

But after numerous scoldings and instances and learning the importance of money (very apparent in my life in the past few weeks -.-)

I think I've finally matured somewhat in the sense that i'm not weeping..

Just in my heart only

Ok joking joking hahaha :D

Sigh. I am a bit depressed la.. Duh...

But oh well..

You can't miss what you never had (:

If i can just get my dumbass computer to freaking WORK again I will also be eternally grateful for it.

Shall bring it to AMK to get fixed after PULSE!

But then..

I'll have WORK ^^

SIGGGGH. SO MUCH TO DOOO ^^

This is what i call a happy problem ^^

I have just resolved that at least twice a week i must go out with people though!

Well. once is already reserved for someoneeee HAHA but the other one time i must not err forget! Yes!

Next week it's FAM already - which is gonnna be AWESUMMM!!!

I'm not gonna bother myself with all the social crap which is revolving around it - i'm gonna be with my netballers, and we're going to drink water and pretend it's wine, and be MERRY (:

I must search out my dearest classmates, too!!

I've just realized that i'm going to sorely miss them..

Past two years have been super fun and well i'm glad i got such a great class. :'(

I never really had any problems in this class <3

I will really really miss that bunch i hang out with <33

Never really could call us a clique cos it's not like we were stuck together all the time but well i was just personally closer and more trusting to this group as a whole la, yknow.

You can't REAAALLY treat everyone the same, ideal as it is!!

Been going down for recess, making stupid (haha babes you know i wanted to fill in this word with another adjective.. ^^ Starts with an R) jokes, etc etc with them for so long...

It's hard to realize that it's ENDED.. :'(

It's a time of my life i'll never get back.

Now i want to cry and i want to call Alagu and remind her that i will always love her and In_ _ _ _ _. HAHAHA.

And Ginteng and joy and karen and vic and wan li and bianche and rachel and AHHH :(

I shan't put too much make up at FAM hahaha in case i cry.

Though my CRAPPY complexion demands otherwise -.-

Ok whatevss.

WHAAADEEEVVVVSSS.

(bimbo flip of hair~)

Sigh ok anyway where was i...

OH YEAH MANNN now that HCL Os are over,

STYLETZ IS CHIONGINGGGG for PULSE! Hip Hop finals this sunday!! (:

COME DOWN AND SUPPORT US IF YOU CAN PLEAAASE~!!

I know this never works though LOL so.. But yknow..

Pleaseee. haha!

We have some cool shit and then the rest.. We're just trying to chiong out LOL. :P

3pm at SCAPE Playspace! (:

BE THERE OR BE SQUAAARE~!

Got PSB night tmr (wtshit so damn fast right...) and then it's time for Styletz prac at WeiHing's house (freaking mansion).

WOOTS can't wait~! (:

~ ohhh my my my

2011-11-09T00:09:00.001+08:00

(: Can't help but smile whenever I think of you or that day.
Nearly one month from that already :P
feels like it's been much longer :P

2011-11-06T21:15:00.003+08:00

WOOHOO TODAY HAS BEEN AN AWESOME DAY (:

[actually i just read a chi passage, and it said i must make everyday the best day of my life, so from now on i will live like that!! must stop wasting my time chill in at home doing NOTHING - not even the.. meditation, spend time with self type of nothing. It's the NOTHING NOTHING]

Went swimming in the morning and it was damn fun ^^ Heehee I had fun :D

I felt awkward and fat in my two piece though. :(

How is it that i manage to NOT feel totally self conscious in front of strangers instead though??

The logic escapes me.

But it is as it is~

It was so fun!! Actually.... I could have done more laps consecutively ^^

But i didn't want to, it was more fun to pause and force you to nag at me HAHA.

Ok fine, i'm trying to make excuses for my laziness.

ALAMAK cannot tahan la exercising for the sake of exercising is just painful!! :(

I am too much of a pig grr this is unacceptablezzz. :(

When the tortur- i mean.. the awesome fun was finally over, we went to the coffee shop to get breakfast :D

SIAAAN they were so stingy on the kaya toast though. :'( At least the egg was goodish.

But it's egg.

You can't have bad egg.

Unless...

it's just bad egg.

Couldn't tahan afterwards, and i borrowed money for cha shao shao rou fan. :P Combined with yesterday's hugeass feast at Orchard Central,

i think it's safe to say that today's workout did 'nothing' for me.

Not overall, anyway :P

Came home afterwards sadly for tuition. Fell asleep before tuition, and got waken up by a call bringing AWESOMEEE NEWS.

I GOT A JOB AT BAKERZIN AS A SERVICE STAFF!!! :')

AT LAST.

i've been hunting for a job for AGES.

Glooooriouuuus success~!!!!

Working at the Bakerzin at MyVillage (@ Serangoon Gardens)

Please come visit me if you're free teehee i can imagine it would actually be pretty boring.. :(

MyVillage is always dead.

When i go, anyway.

Gonna get 5.50 per h for starting pay, and i get free meals!! xD SHIOK.

Gotta get black shoes though...

Sigh.

At last, money is coming my way.

Those who know me, you know just how much debt i am in... :( In desperate need for all the cash!!

Thank you Jesus for helping me out in my financial crisis. <3

Gonna earn a ton of cash through dance also MUAHAHHA

First - if we win for PULSE! this Sunday (which we are going to really try to do <33)

Next - Some Korean Festival hired DFunkatron to perform Miss A songs (we're doing Goodbye Baby and Bad Girl Good Girl)

Last - DFunkatron is doing some korean dances (i wish we could break out of korean :( ) for a Car Show Competition thing thing at Expo in the hols!

Money.

Glorious.

Money.

Ok not money - FREEDOM FROM THE HEAVY WEIGHT OF DEBT.

And finally a lil extra cash to treat myself to a lil..

I dunno..

NEW PAIR OF HIGH TOPS?? >D

Okok and put in the bank.

Hmm.. What else do i need to buy..

AHH MONEY MONEY MONEY.

Oh i need to pay for the many excursions i plan to go on during the hols <33 ^^ Can't wait!!

Went to Scape for DFunkatron prac in the afternoon,

Goodbye Baby is 'perfected' now, finally learnt finish everything w formations! (:

Got treated to some Marche food afterwards by Jacky as he briefed us on our Car Show perf!

Really grateful to have Jacky guiding us, being such an awesome mentor (:

I really Thank God for bringing him to me/me to him, I think without his passion and enthusiasm to groom us we would not have improved so fast, nor gotten all these jobs and exposure.

Regardless of how successful I ever become as a dancer, I will always attribute it to his mentorship (:

Okayy, now i shall go and plan my next 3 days' study agendas.

Have to get my stupid damn A1 or at least an A2 for HCL now thanks to my Mock exam's grades...

-.-

Walao ehhhh :( Actually i no expectations one lor!!

Then kena this type of results... Now i feel like i CAN do it.

Sigh.

Ok i sound so qi guai now hahaha gonna go off now tata~! (:

JIA YOU FOR Os EVERYBODY, IT'S A BIT MORE!!

And i will be praying for all those taking As too, especially my elder sis who has worked so freaking hard for it! <33

JIAYOU JIAYOU <33

2011-11-03T20:07:00.003+08:00

So.

Weizhang told me something today,

that pisses me off to no end.

But if it doesn't affect him then i won't go on about it cos that's all i care about.

Though what ppl said was just wrong, and disgusting, and infuriating, and just downright shallow,

i won't go on and on about it.

I have a whole essay's worth of thoughts to type right now i'm so PISSED, really i am.

but i shall try to hold back a little because.

If he's really fine why should i bother, right???

GRRR

I AM STILL ANGRY THOUGH

If i ever find out who said it

i will grab the girl and

well i would want to do bad things

but i will instead.

AIYA

i am just damn pissed la okay ARRGHHHH I AM VERY ANGRY.

If you're the one who said it you will know when you read this grr

you should be ashamed at yourself for having such stupid, shallow thoughts.

what is a person's worth determined by?

apparently, you never paid attention in CLE. Apparently, education has completely failed you.

A person's worth is determined by his character and values, by his actions and words.

Evidently, some people have not yet reached the passing grade for that criteria, and that's just sad.

I wanna send you for counseling. -.-

And for the record, ____ is worth his weight in gold,

and thus i am the luckiest girl on earth.

The End.

Stay beautiful babe (; you're perfect to me.

Bible chapter!!!

2011-11-02T22:35:00.001+08:00

LOL yet another day w 3 posts :PP Making up for my recent laggy posting I guess!

Couldn't help myself la I was reading the bible and these few verses really spoke to me (1 Thessalonians 5:12-24)
I don't understand all parts, but I dunno I just feel very strongly about these verses. When they said "Follow the word of God" during service that day I was thinking hmm exactly what do they say in the bible,
And I was just kinda talking about it w wz too.
These are the words of God that He wants me to follow, I think -

"Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you.
Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.
And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.
Be joyful always;
Pray continually;
GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST JESUS.
Do not put out the Spirit's fire;
Do not treat prophecies with contempt.
Test everything. Hold on to the good.
Avoid every kind of evil.
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

If something is unable to measure against the word of God, I will not do it.
If God says no, I say no. (:

2011-11-02T19:24:00.002+08:00

just had a sudden surge of weird emotions.

I think it all started when i realized that i seriously need a hair cut cos my hair looks like absolute crap.

Sigh.

It can all be very simply summed up in a few sentences.

I'm super scared it won't work out cos well... has it ever?!?

I guess i thought i was ready but i'm really not. :( But at the same time every time we're together all i think about is "Better remember how this feels like" or "better remember how you feel like" etc etc - "cos one day i may not get to feel this anymore".

Isn't this so sad and paranoid?!

Sigh.

But well..

I guess the good thing is that it makes me cherish you more xD

And tread more carefully.

I consulted wee (ahhh wee, the best consultant on earth. <3),

and he said that if i over think it i'd screw things up instead.

And that was what we'd promised each other from the start, that we wouldn't overthink things, but for some reason it's getting harder and harder to do so as we grow closer cos the fear of losing it grows greater too, i think.

i dunno, that's my logic!

Ah well...

Thank God the hols are coming up and we have all the time in the world to work things out between us and stuff. (: <3

Today was so much fun and i can't stop replaying the video teeheehee ^^

Ahhhh. (:

Won't say anymore cos i don't want our life to be public but ahh haha you are so awesome and i'm so glad all the other girls were too blind to snag you first. ^^

MUAHAHA CHAMPION.

Speaking of Champion,

I GOT A1 FOR MY CHINESE MOCK PAPER MAUAHHAHAAAHAHHAHA MY MOTHER WILL NO LONGER NAG AT ME

Dear god please let me get A for my HCL Os... T.T

2011-11-02T18:18:00.010+08:00

Lol slacking in my room now (: Nua-ing on my bed. ^^ Heehee ^^

One of the rare times that i actually USE my room for something else other than sleeping.

Sigh, just don't feel like really sticking around in 'my room' when the other two will of course keep popping in etc etc.

It just doesn't feel like my room so why pretend it is. :'(

Emogirl95.

I WANT MY OWN ROOM!!! D<

But really, for now, i'll settle for my own laptop.

Yes, i am still whining about my laptop.

Sigh.

But ah well, i shall not be a childish annoying brat. Thank God all my PSB work etcetc is all done with, so i don't really ctually NEED a laptop for now..

Shall try to survive as long as i can til my parents can get around to fixing it lor. :(

Feeling super sian now though, about all my lost pics. :/

Hmm speaking of pics i think there're some pics which i've forgotten o put up...

But ah well.

The only ones i can think of for now are TV ones + Little sis' bday + LAST TLL LESSON

Don't have the TV pics i took with most other ppl except for w styletz, cos they were taken using other ppl's cameras. :(

I'd download it then post it but NOOOOPE. NOT MY LAPTOP. CANNTOA NYHOW DOWNLOAD. -.-

Last TLL lesson i think i'll put it up another time :(

no other word for it but 'amazing' (:

TALENT VOGUE PICTURES

2011-10-30T23:50:00.001+08:00

Til I get my laptop fully fixed (or alternatively manage to convince my mum to "see this opportunity for what it is" and get me a MacBook Pro)
This is the easiest way to post pics, sadly - through my iPhone :(

How mega annoying!

The pictures I'm posting are all taken by Esna Ong!! (: I don't know her personally but sooni will cos I will be thanking her profusely for these photos THEY ARE DAMN CHIO I've never had dance pics this nice I feel inspired by how good they look LOL (they make me look WAY better than i really was)

Anyway yes - THANK YOU ESNA :')

I shall post my own pics soon, the ones of me and friends after TV (: I realise I don't have many photos on my cam... I remember TAKING the photos but idk whose cameras I used. LOL.
Hopefully they go up soon! (:

hating my spoilt laptop. But wdv. TALENT VOGUE!

2011-10-29T14:53:00.001+08:00

STILL posting on my blog using anything BUT my laptop. Grr I HATE it that my laptop is spoilt I'm going crazy!! Over reliance on technology sigh... Mainly I'm freaking out because of my pictures omg.
But thank God for me I usually post all my pics on Facebook so if I need to recover them it's not impossible I guess but they'd be of sucky quality and DAMMIT I just feel upset. :'(
Not to mention my MUSIC dear God my music. :'(
Sigh.. All in His plan I guess. Shall drag it to get repaired soon, hopefully I won't HAVE to lose all my docs... :'(

Anyway, YESTERDAY WAS TALENT VOGUE!!
It was really awesome haha I had a great time! :D The audience was AWESUMMZ I loved the cheers, thanks so much to my bestest buds who came to support me and styletz too ^^
The atmosphere yesterday was super happening haha I felt really happy, despite the fact we didn't win (:

Me and Dawne won 3rd, here's the vid url~
http://video.ak.fbcdn.net/cfs-ak-snc4/345404/26/10150349930175748_42305.mp4?oh=66d8d2cfa877fdd51e902cf276520de9&oe=4EAE4300&__gda__=1320043264_d28a51676fd0ccad8c6f788bde793c39

We didn't mind at all la, the other performances were HONESTLY really good too!! :D Haha the A Gymmers were super funny and Chanel was OBVIOUSLY damn zai :D
She did the thing she did during Interclass Karaoke again and acted as the guy in the song and girl at the same time!!
It was a good show la haha xD And Chanel had backup dancers and singers aka KaiLing zongqi Germaine Vanessa xining, too!!
She deserves the first place!! (:

me and Dawne had fun haha we're happy with the perf!!! :D

disclaimed: How Low and Outta Your Mind choreo was from SYTYCD :P

Afterwards Styletz + jas and elaine went for supper, too, but it was fail HAHA we were too tired to discuss anything for Styletz and in the end no one bought much food and we left at 11+ I think.
Went home with weizhang afterwards and my day ended awesomely :')

Going for Church today, can't wait!!! (: Thanking Jesus for everything He's given me :')

2011-10-27T23:36:00.004+08:00

since it's my new profile picture, i don't care anymore and i will just be open about it as i have always wanted to :D

I AM TOGETHER WITH ASHNEO GOH WEI ZHANG LALALA~! HE IS MINE MUAHAHAHAH SCORE.

ok that sounded a lil high teehee ^^ but do i care? NOPEEE~!

HAHA. OBVIOUSLY HIGH.

Though i am glad that we didn't really say it earlier, need some stability first la, yknoww??

I'm pretty sure not many things will get in the way now anyway.

I really want us to work out lalala~! ^^ <3

I am happygurl95,

had the most beautiful first official date yesterday,

and also i did a Seven perfectly today and wowed my neighbors. That sounds totally off but. Shrug.

LALALA happyhappyhappy~!!! ^^

Yesterday was so.. haha everything that could go wrong WENT EPICLY WRONG but i was happy all the while and nothing could take the smile off my face and today despite the gloomy options i had to sit through i was still bright and cheery xD

Ok, other than when i slept in Myth Buster Physics.

BUT HELLOOO aircon + lights off?? It's practically an INVITATION TO GO SLEEP!! :P

Anyway i do wanna spend too much time on comp alr,

TV TOMORROW HOLY GUACAMOLE.

GTG TATA <3

yay happy happy xD

2011-10-25T21:01:00.002+08:00

Tralala i have nothing to post, don't even know why i'm posting..

Oh yes cos i'm trying to procrastinate.

Actually not bad la, i've done some work.

Ish.

Physics Options stuff.. i sent out the recordings and shit.. Feeling a lil bad that i didn't manage to help with the video though. :/

SE Options... We're a lil screwed but hey we'll get through i'm sure.

Philo Options.. My my. When am i ever going to do it LOLOLOL GG.

Thursday i'll have to do it but we may have Styletz prac so...

Idec. :(

I so.hate.options.

I'm sorry teachers i know y'all worked hard and stuff but OHMIGOD THIS IS JUST TORTURE it's not fun it's not stimulating or anything it's just a PAIN IN THE ASS and i'm unhappyunhappyunhappy in Options T.T

I would even rather study CHINESE and that's saying a lot!!!

Anyway, i'm just going to blab awhile on whatever.

While i wait for my mum to come home to take me grocery shopping~ :D

Netcarn was on Saturday, felt a bit funny, it being my last netcarn in RGS..

Idk i was just hating my existence the whole time cos .. i just really dislike netball now..

I don't actually dislike the game i guess i dislike.. I dunno i dislike what it reminds me of.

I do feel a little worthless and a little inferior, honestly. When i'm at the netball courts and people are playing, and even worse, when i'm playing i'm just like OHMIGOD KILL ME NOW DO I HAVE TO BE REMINDED OF THE SUCK.

Idk how to describe it la it's just.. it's just a really annoying feeling that wells up and grows and grows from inside each time i have to play stupid netball now, and i can't even stop it.

I'm not stupid (well i like to think i'm not), i know that my self worth is not based on how good i am at my stupid CCA,

and i know that it's perfectly fine to suck at whatever CCA you chose, cos i do believe everyone has their forte, it's just about how long it takes to find it or whether or not it's obvious to you and blablablablablabla.

I'm personally quite cool with sucking at netball already i am a self-proclaimed sucky netball player idgaf at all

But some emotions and some insecurities will just forever remain raw inside, especially when they're punctuated with several (not just one) incidents that left marks.

I hate it.

I hate feeling upset at myself and I particularly hate being so childish and so .... unaccepting? so unable to accept ... idk... embarrassment, humiliation, scorn, THE SUCK.

I think it's stupid and i wish i were stronger but well

I am what i am so.

SHRUG.

All i can do is to keep trying to make myself eventually really come to terms with it.. I guess it'd come with time and maturity.

'til then please don't blame me when i go batshit crazy and act completely irresponsible when something like netball crops up...

I just hate it.

:( Don't hate me. :( HAHA.

I don't think i'll ever dissociate netball with sadness for me, but i could never dismiss the fact, either, that it gave me some of the best times of my life as well.

All the stress and frustration from that morning disappeared when we played the teacher's match

Cos i was with my batchies (: Is it just me or what LOL but i really felt .. safe and happy i guess, when all of us gathered to prepare for the teacher's match.

They helped to see me through most of the crap actually. <3 I love you RN'11 i love you love you love you love youuuu :')

Wa **** i'm gonna miss y'all so much next year i think we really need a batch outing soon to just CHILL somewhere..

Wtshit yknow now as i type this i'm suddenly reminded of all the many outings we've had over the years, and all we've gone through..

First when we were so not a batch and there was this great divide and all these politics or wdv flying everywhere,

and then when we suddenly became damn tight,

then when quarrels came in and there were problems,

then later when we all solved them and got closer and ...

now we're just awesome and i know y'all are true friends i can always turn to in times of need :')

Even stupid Amelia who's forever late or off studying or idk, filing her stupid nails. HAHAHAHA :D

I will miss us. :(

I didn't care that i sucked at the teacher's match (not to mention that iw as against Mrs J T.T)

all i cared about was that we were together again on court, playing together.

I never really realized just how much of a TEAM we were becoming..

Not just a netball team but really, a team... (:

I will always love our batch and Raffles Netball'11 <3

(no one said anything about the stupid game and other stuff)

Going for grocery shopping soon,

have a reaaaally exciting itinerary planned tmr ^^

Sometimes i feel like my life can't get any better, and i wish it would just like... stay like this forever.

But i know problems will come, like it or not.

Til then though, I will continue to give thanks for everything God has given me,

and remember to be grateful and happy with everything I now have. <3

Cont-

2011-10-23T23:24:00.001+08:00

Oh dear God of all things to forget to post -.- FACEPALM!
Styletz is through to PULSE! hiphop competition's finals!! YEAH BABY! Damn happy!!! :D

WeiHing posted the video on fb,
I guess I'll post the vid here when I download it! When my computer unhangs.... -.- Eurgh.

WOOTS at last! (:(:
Very proud of us and especially amazed by the boiboiz LOL cos they managed to learn Take Your Shirt Off in ONE DAY. seriously man, PEI FU PEI FU!!! (:

; today was a fairytale

2011-10-23T22:29:00.001+08:00

Everyday is a fairytale now. (: I've just realised that save for the friday DF BBQ (which I still have yet to post about sigh), I've been w you every day since 13 oct! ... That's 9 days!

It still feels like it's been idk... Both very long and very short though.
Sigh I'm just really happy when I'm with you, and I never forget to be thankful to God for you and for us. (:
well, especially not after Thursday, but let's just put that behind us eh? (;
I guess it was a good timely reminder la, and a really important lesson. (: I do Thank God for that day, regardless of how painful it was. I think everything really looks brighter now, and more importantly, more real to me.
-- I guess no matter what, no matter how much you prepare, it's inevitable that you will get carried away at the start. So i'm glad for that night cos it brought me back down to earth, and reminded me that we would have no choice eventually but to connect our little world to the real world.
External... Events and circumstances will always exert some sort of influence, as much as I don't like it. So instead of avoiding it and pretending it didn't exist, or that it cannot penetrate my happy blissful bubble, i have to remember to deal w it instead (:

Today we didn't even do a shit LOL it really felt damn short but wow I was still really happy and,
It is special to me!!!!! (: if only you could have read my mind haha I was damn happy and just like. Yeah. It really is special (:

Ok BYEBYE,
Still pissed that my comp doesn't work and I'm posting this through my phone.
Ahhh the wonders of my iPhone :')

-

2011-10-20T22:54:00.001+08:00

Tiredddd ttm, glad I get to sleep early tonight at last! (: I've had a rough few days and honestly I don't wanna talk about it so I won't tralala. But I guess I learnt that SOME rules just shouldn't be brokenz :P

2011-10-16T01:35:00.003+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T POSTED SINCE LIKE YEAAAH,

but then again it's not all that unbelievable precisely because. ^^

8 oct and 13 oct

Two new dates i must commit to my memory from now on. :D

I'm going crazy haha i'm absolutely nuts.

And i'm seriously happy. :P

That's kinda scary but i really, really don't regret this at all.

I know most of my friends (probably some of you are reading this, gits :D) brushed it off pretty quickly as .. OH AGAAAAIN T.T

And i honestly don't blame them at all cos well, it's not like it's not justified!

I myself am partially going

OH NO MINCHIH, REALLY? AGAIN? REALLY? YOU STUPID OR YOU STUPID??

But...

I dunno (:

It's...

everything i told myself i would not do, in the past .. nearly one year,

but it's also everything i've dreamed of.

Is that funny? :P

I dunno, it's weird to me.

It's hard for me to just let go and stuff la yknow, i mean.

I've learnt that when it comes to this, i need to be governed by a set of really strict rules.

But i guess the rules were formed on the assumption that... whatever i felt wasn't errm. like yeah.

I really don't want to screw up..

FINE, now that i know you read my blog, about which i am still intensely embarrassed about,

i really meant it that day when i said that i don't want this to screw up.

Partially because i've had enough of screwing up already and it's just tiring and i'm just tired,

but more because you're really really really really really special to me. (:

I've told you everything i really really really feel already so there is no point putting it here and i won't put it here,

but i just need to write it down cos i don't wanna forget. :P

The past ___ has been like

i mean there's no other word for it k it's been magical.

This is so corny kill me now.

T.T

The first day was completely unexpected and i was totally not ready for it honestly but like LOL nonetheless i was still ecstatic and going crazy haha.

The moment that first thing happened i was alr likee TEEHEEHEE

and then at night later when it really happened

i dunno i NEVER NEVER felt this before k like really but it just felt like finally things would be right and finally i'd be happy.

It was this really strong gut feeling :P

And you were spot on when you joked that you knew i believed in all that jazz about the st__s and the ___n being good signs.

Do you know how many times i secretly nearly cried, that night, when i was thanking God for bringing me this miracle?

... Thank you God, I know you brought me this. I'm a new Christian so i really don't know the proper phrases to use (very irritated about that believe me) but... I LOVE YOU JESUS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LOVING ME THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE YOU :')

It's a real headache for me cos every time i think a certain thought or i feel a certain way and it violates a certain rule i'd set for myself,

like,

FRIGGING ALARMS RING IN MY HEAD

Not pleasant alarms, trust me.

Not even musical like the school bell. IT'S FRIGGING BLARING. NON STOP BLARING.

But idk. (:

In my heart I know it's different... My really really best friends can see it too and that is, really,you have no idea, really comforting.

Most times my friends are like O.O

Those who really know this time though, they're very supportive so..

Like we kept saying that night,

i have a good feeling about this. (:

And the days afterward were filled w a billion blaring alarms in my head (all.freaking.day.long.eurgh)

The things you said... Fell exactly under the category of "THIS IS GONNA SCREW UP EVENTUALLY, REALLY IT WILL, PULL YOURSELF OUT OF IT".

Yet i dunno, i really believe it this time.

And it's not just what you said it's that.. Idk.

I believe you. Hahah :D

And that's really annoying!

Because... I don't think i should be. LOL. Is that weird?

Yes it's weird.

You told me to tell you all my xin1 shi4 but i think i may cry if i told you,

you're so perfect

and i'm so not

so... i dunno. I feel so PISSED at myself for being all confused but well

we feel what we feeeeeeelllllll.

I do feel positive too though. ^^

Today was awesome.

It was reaaaally awesome..... (: I keep smiling like some idiot LULZ. I'm so glad i spent all that time with you.

I totally WASTED it doing nothing but it still felt like i didn't have enough time.

I was secretly upset when we had to leave MarbleSlab but well all good things have to come to an end boohoohoo.

It was fun for ME lol but i feel bad, i think i was distracting you from your studying ARRGH i have really good self-control over certain things (heehee you know what) but i just can't honestly stay away from you LOL.

...

I pray that my mum doesn't know i have a blog.

Cos then she will figure out where i've been all these nights.

Tralala. Not telling the whole truth is not a lie (:0 Ok it is, crap. But hey err i know what i'm doing lor :(

I am mostly just.. amazed. Haha i can't believe you yknow.. I mean, even in front of your friends haha!

May not mean a lot to most people but it meant a lot to me.

It was so WEIRD i mean.. I dont' understand how it could have felt so.. err.. ok i don't understand how it could have made me feel like OH YAY YAY YAY YAY YAYYYY, like err..

excited'snot the word but err..

I dunno.

Ecstatic?

No that's not the word either.

Sigh ok basically YAY YAY YAY YAY YAYYYY,

but at the same time also like it was natural and that there was simply no other way that it could have been!

Bad description but if i describe it more accurately it'd be quite obvious. Ok it's already quite obvious but let's just try to pretend ^^

I'm just so happy it's all working out so far... (:

Well it's only been a few days but... yeah. (:

Today was nice. (:

I had so much fun teasing you on the mrt fyi HAHAHAHA but ok i won't do it again i don't want things to screw up really i don't so...

Yeah.

I know that just one small wrong step and things will like.. i dunno. err...

qian li zhi ti, kui yu yi xue

and

cha zhi hao li, miu yi qian li.

Not bad sia i really did remember quite a lot of su yus ^^

I can't believe you said it today cos i thought you weren't sure of it at all, and ok a small part of me thought you didn't. I can't stop this sad, pathetic feeling that i'm err in this deeper than you are (it's all such a bad description but eurgh i feel more comfortable with this than actually writing it)

Probably it is true,

BUT IT'S JUST TORTUROUS ANYWAY.

This is just crazy la really.

But i really do too. (:

I went for DF BBQ yesterday night and Clarice's bday party today too,

so.. i'll post about them tmr or whatever,

cos i want this post to just be like that. (:

P.S. your pic is my wallpaper lalalalaaaaa i'm cheesy and idc!!!! :D

(only one line in this song is applicable heehee)

2011-10-10T23:05:00.002+08:00

okayz, i have 30 min to type out my post because i don't want to have to charge my laptop.

The charger's right behind me but.. That's just how lazy i am muahaha >D

Main thing i really needed to pen down in case i one day forget (which i sincerely hope i never will do),

is that

on Saturday, 8 October '11, I made the decision to become a Christian. (:

I've always felt that religion is a pretty sensitive thing and that either way it's something personal for me, so i'm not gonna type too much about it..

But yeah, it's something i'd been dwelling on for years and years already,

but just somehow never been able to decide on.

Cos to me religion is something really big.

Saying you believe in something when really you're not sure whether you do or not is like.. I dunno it's a lie la, and it's a really horrible lie.

Especially in Christianity, to me.

I feel that God is sacred, in any case. So I felt that if i chose to become a Christian I didn't want it to be because I want a wishing card or something, or because i dunno, everyone around me generally is one (that's what my mum thinks is my reason...)

I wanted to choose to be a Christian not only when I truly believed in Jesus Christ, in God, but also when I felt that it was something, some.... hmm ideology's not the term, but like.. a part of my life. Inseparable.

i mean, i believe in tons of things but to really worship Him as my God?

I didn't want to just convert just like that!

So but yup..

I won't elaborate that much more already la but..

Yeah on Saturday I went to Trinity@Paya Lebar with Jaslin, Qianyan and their pri sch friend Kimberly (is that how you spell her name :XXXX).

I truly believe that it's all in His plan, that God truly had it all under His control,

cos well my faith had never been THAT strong. I mean sure i could always say that i know God is watching over me but DID i really know it??

So yeah, i didn't go to church much.. I went once before for a cell thing, but afterwards i didnt go cos of EYAs, dance, this and that.

It was very.. errm magical, that I came to this particular service that day.

Firstly because Brother Kahfei, the one who gave the sermon (is it called sermon??) at youth service that day was really really good and i couldn't NOT pay attention. That was his first time back in a month plus (if i remember correctly...), cos of his honeymoon.

Secondly because what that service talked about was just so relevant to me.. As in.. Not that i logically thought it out or whatever that HM, this is so ZHUN!

But like.. it really SPOKE to me, and i could really feel like i suddenly knew what i really needed in my life..

More importantly out of nowhere it suddenly hit me that, hey, i think God is really watching over me and trying to tell me that He loves me, and wants to be a part of my life.

Brother Kahfei said, "Jesus is always knocking on our door, but is our door closed or open?"..

Ok, something to that effect. :P

But yeah.. I nearly cried so many times throughout service cos I could just feel God's love. Like, out of nowhere it just suddenly hit me.

And then I knew that I was His child la,

okok i dont wanna say too much alr I scared kena offend ppl.

That's the good thing about starting from a non-believer. :P I really see the other perspective too so.. :PP

I went up at the end, and Brother Kahfei came up to me immediately and prayed for me. I know it's mad, and it's likely that this is just the.. yknow, humans finding meaning in things when there may be no meaning thing,

But like what Brother Kahfei said, "God is in control". I know that there's a reason for everything!

He came up to me first, and yeah i'm so glad he did it, cos when he prayed for me, he told me he saw two pictures of me.

I won't say what the pictures are but.. Once he said it i really started crying and wowwwww embarrassing much HAHA.

Mucus was like coming out ok and i had no tissue w me. :(

Sigh.

But yeah, i couldnt stop crying cos i was feeling damn overwhelmed... I know God was speaking to me through Brother Kahfei, telling me that He loved me.

Ok i just don't want to forget this experience cos..

I dunno i think it was really life changing and wonderful and yup.

I'm a christian now :D

MY CHRISTIAN NAME IS MEGAN KAYYY.

I decided on it on the spot when they asked me for my Christian name.

Hehe ___ suggested it to me on that very day, before i went for service.

See, told you it was all in the plan. (;

Considering megara cos i've always had a thing for that heroine in Hercules.

But well.. Megara sounds a BIT too weird...

See how. (: (:

Thanking God for everything~.

2011-10-08T09:44:00.003+08:00

some people are 'batshit crazy'.

i won't even talk about it man, whatever.

too complex. won't waste my time on you.

batshit crazy.

ANYWAY.

Yesterday was really awesome!! :D (minus that .. whatever. Though even so that led to something good!!! :D)

Netballers went to the courts to play in the morning!

Uh, i totally suck at netball now LOL. Like, TOTALLY.

I'm completely out of touch!

I flinched when they passed the ball to me k! And my first reaction when the ball bounced towards me was to hit it away! :P

It's ok. It's all good. Some things in life we're not meant to do, you know what i mean??? :PP

I did have a hell lot of fun w batchies though!! <3

I LOVE YOU BATCH'11! Though i still really don't like playing the stupid game anymore but I LOVE YALLLL haha i love yall enough to drag myself to school to play netball when i could otherwise have been eating macs w 410ers okay! :D

But aiyolamak been eating too much fast food...

My new 'training' regime does not allow for fast food...

Incredibly PISSED OOOOOOFF.

It's all for my goal though, so.. I will at least TRY not to complain too much in my head. :'( I'm going to work damn hard for my success..

Reach for the moon and you'll land among the stars~.

Ok anyway,

yeah haha IT WAS A FULL BATCH OKAY!! <3

FROWN SMILE - TRADEMARK OF RAFFLES NETBALL BATCH'11. ;D

STUPID AMELIA NEVER FROWN SMILE. D<

Hahaha love our batch, YAY! <333

As we all left for the canteen/bathe me and dawne suddenly remembered about TALENT VOGUE.

We have yet to prepare for it LOL. I mean well we always have a set of choreo we can fall back on la but... Yes, we want to perform well so. :P

We came up with an idea already, but the whole dance hasn't been conceptualized yet, just a bit only.

Won't say anytheeeeeng about it though i want it to be a surprise! :D

Come and support us!! ^^

We don't care about winning la haha we just want to perform (:

Spent some time in the dance studio coming up with stuff afterwards, very excited!! :D

Tryin to cut the music now but the stupid thing won't download, pissed offff. -.-

So lalalala, went for SAT Briefing..

I'll be going for it of course but after i thought out my errm life plan LOL i really couldnt give two hoots about all this.

But i know i'm being very idealistic so.. I will still force myself to work hard and try to do well. (:

I don't even want to go to an American university anymore la but..

Well it's better to have more options, anyway, than to not take it and have the whole option closed off.

Went for lunch with ningxin afterwards, ate like a pig as usual. (:

Not good at all, not sticking to my new regime.

... I'll start today!

Though actually i've alr screwed it by eating a whole pack of chips.

NOOOO I'M NOT DISCIPLINED ENOUGH!!

Ok, from lunch onwards. (:0

After Philo options (i really like my philo options! except sometimes some things are dwelled on for a lil too long, and they aren't even important, in my personal opinion.)

i went for TLL.

I feel very bad for making Mr Leong worry (at least i THINK he's worried LOL) and not being fully attentive during his class, but dammit i was just so TIRED in that class and i couldn't stop thinking about errm.. various people/things.

So :(

Half the time i was drifting off.

And then he even asked if i was ok.

On the bright side.. I got to eat a sweet!!!!! xDDD

LEFT FOR NEX AFTERWARDS. ^^

Was a poor bloke so i didnt have dinner sigh. Though i did have supper afterwards so that defeats the purpose of me not eating dinner...

I am so not getting a credit card when i grow up.

I can so see myself in debt.

We went to the library before we watched ze movie, just sat there and well. He attempted to read his notes, i tried to play the games on my phone, and then in the end both fail and we just ended up joking about random shit.

It didn't even make sense LOL but it was so fun :D

And i finally remembered to eat my raisins in my bag. Hurrah! :D

Watched Crazy Stupid Love (:

It was actually not bad a movie hahai liked it!! :D It was damn funny and shit but i think it was secretly meaningful, anyway.

And it was sweet!!! (:

I thought it was gonna be a total waste of money though, for the first 15 or so minutes of the show. :P

We nearly watched Johnny English.. But the tix were nearly sold out, so. :( :(

Ah well, CSL was a good choice anyway (: (:

Some scenes were like :O though

and i was like T.T awkwarddddddddzzzxxxsss.

At least the movie ended well though haha! The show was quite cool, had lots of stuff about like, idk, the decadence of society and whatever (freely having sex with whoever, whenever), but it all ended up with all that jazz about true love prevailing.

Ran into dion and jiamei at nex!

Walao, DF reunion lololol! Speaking of DF, excited for DF BBQ Outing next friday night!!! :D

Hope lots of Sengkang people go!!

So yes, as i said, we went to macs afterwards, i got into a huge debt sighhz,

and then we walked home again! (:

I had a happy day. (:

Hmm..

Idk what's wrong with me man i'm overthinking everything.

Called weexuan yesterday night, and he said i should really stop thinking too much about it too... I guess i'm like going to the next extreme.

First i just got into it without thinking, just let my emotions lead me.

Then i realised what i was doing and decided that i couldn't let myself screw it up cos errm well. you deserve more than that la, really.

And thus now i am overthinking everything and moving with so much caution that i might as well be crawling.

I don't really know what to do.............

This is frustrating................

And i am worried that if i don't like work it all out in my head asap then i'll screw things up BECAUSE i'm being like this.

I DON'T KNOW LA HAIYA.

HEADACHE ALREADY LA!

But well, if there's one thing that i CAN be sure of it's that i'm super happy when i'm actually yknow. Like yeah la.

And it just feels damn comfortable and stuff, knowz what i meanz???

Well. Hoppin awayyy now to cut my music. Tralala tata~! (:

how i really feel

2011-10-05T16:51:00.002+08:00

Don't look down on me now,

cos someday i'll be livin in a big ol' city, and all you're ever gonna be is mean.

someday i'll be big enough so you can't hit me, and all you're ever gonna be is mean.

why you gotta be so mean?

Having a mild headache now... I think...

I dunno what i think hahaha i think..

I've found out what i want to do in life,

i know what my .. err.. base values and beliefs are,

in summary i know who i am and what i strive for.

But...

why is it that just now when i was all alone in my room, all i felt was empty?

When we're all alone, it seems that everything is stripped off.

Labels, societal expectations, societal norms...

All pressure..

What're we left with then? How do i fill that gap and finally really BE me?

Even my goals...

How much of it REALLY matters to me?

What REALLY matters to me?

I don't know.

It was almost like i was standing in a dark empty room, with nothing to grab on to, with no doors leading out, no arrows, no signs, nothing.

That's what i feel like, i think.

Inside.

Completely empty.

People have so many layers... Deep down inside that's what i feel, i think.

Until i fill that gap, i won't be able to work on the other layers.

How do i work on that?

Hm.

I don't know..

I'm just confused now..

what do i really want?

2011-10-04T22:24:00.002+08:00

I'm pretty sure ___ doesn't know i have a blog hehe..

So i can write here with less constraint >D

Anyway, went to Nex again today (: Teehee had fun :D

Have spent a lot of time there in the past two days lol! But eh it's been productive ok!!

Brr... Getting a lil scared for math...

It's very bad that the fear has only just hit me. :P BUT EHHEY better late than never i guess.

Yesterday i stayed til 10, then we walked home tgt!

OMG i have never walked home from bleddy SERANGOON MRT before.

Ok la, it took only 35 minutes, that's not too bad (:

It passed pretty quickly anyway haha it was fun. (: (:

Dinner was good too, spent an hour just chatting.. In other words, ESCAPING MATH.

Mmmmhhm! (:

So broke now. LOL.

Today was totally impromptu!

Was already on my way home and then suddenly we decided to go study again! :D

Luckily i was on 105, so i could just take it all the way to Nex. It's all in the plan ok!

(have i ever mentioned that i really do believe in THE PLAN)

I got there really early though.

I mean, obviously since technically i was 'already on the way there' once we decided to study.

So yes, broke-me spent like.. half an hour sitting at macs, on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to the pressure of the glares of the macs staff.

I swear they were not happy that i hadn't bought food!! :P

So yes i was super RELIEVED when i was finally saved!! We got this hugeass ice lemon tea again and camped there woots xD

Got chased out though.. Sadly.. During dinner time. :(

And i made another impromptu decision to stay past dinner again til 9+, since otherwise my poor friend would have to hobo around til then.

Went to subway next! (:

Succumbed to temptation and borrowed money for subway in the end. :(

Actually i DID win a bet yesterday!!! >D The money would therefore actually not be 'borrowed' but 'earned'.. But aiya i have at least a LITTLE bit of a conscience. :P

What was my bet about ah...

Must be something to do with math haha. (: (:

LAST COOL THING, WHICH I SIMPLY CANNOT NOT SAY!!!

My mum picked me up from the taxi stand, whereas he walked to the bus stop far far away for 156,

when my mum finally reached right, we drove a lil past him and then i was like :O!!

So i quickly smsed him the car plate number and i was like QUEEECK! LOOOOOK!

And then when he just nice walked past he looked in and then i looked and we were like ^^,

and my mum didn't catch us!

HAH!

FREAKING NINJAS. >D

Okok i gtg bathe now

and try to do a lil more math before i sleep!~ (:

Nights! <333

2011-10-01T17:14:00.002+08:00

I am currently feeling very energetic and excited, yet at the same time totally willing to do math. Weird?

I think totally.

Shall leave math til after Dinner though LALALA i am still a pig :P LAKSA TONIGHT OH YEAH BABY SHIOOOOOK!

The past two days have been a hugeass ROLLER COASTER. :(

K yesterday well.. everything was just ok, getting better, happy happy and gay as usual (:

Then halfway through tuition,

a text from Elaine came in.

DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM.

Told me to go check out something cos something seemed wrong and i went and being a naturally over-suspicious person

aka

kanchiong spider ttm,

I freaked out and i was on the verge of hyper-ventilating for the rest of the class.

I've never.been.so.sincerely.freaked.over. __

-.-

It was not pleasant, believe me you.

Anyway i was half on the verge of tears of anger/stress/sadness-duh on the way home, and it was really annoying cos i was in uniform and stuff, and the mrt was so packed so i really had nowhere to hide so...

Throughout the ride i was like SUCK IT UP BUB

If you know me well you know i cry alot LOL rarely out of sadness, usually out of anger and frustration. .. LOL you dont even have to know me well!

So...

Yes, it was a headache.

THEN FINALLY, FINALLY FINALLY it worked out!

AKA, i was overthinking things again.

As always.

Shrug.

It's ok, i'm used to it. -.- FACEPUNCH.

Nearly all the drama in my life was self-.. induced?

I dont think that's the most appropriate word but guess who's a lazy pig and won't bother thinking of a better one~

Anyway, things ...

'are working out'...

In a sense hm.

But you can't really say it is cos it's not that there's any progress, it's that it's just not getting worse and things are staying at a somewhat peaceful level.

Right now it has the potential to go into epic shit mode

or the potential to go into bloody bliss.

HAHA such great descriptors.

So... hm.

Hohum~! (:

All i REALLY want now is honestly just to make things better. For once in my life, after jaslin pointed it out to me (and i ALWAYS have this veil of stupidity over my eyes which i need someone to help lift),

i actually think that i actively, sincerely want to put my own wants/needs below the other more important ones now.

It all feels so funny and it's all been a little too fast so

like weexuan said,

i can't trust this/it.

Which is another headache cos i've always just gone with the flow type of thing

But if going with the flow may potentially turn this into epic shit mode,

I will really actively go against it :S

It's hard cos i generally don't think that much before i act. (Though sure, i think a lot after)

So...

Yeah.

I'm thankful that Weexuan is helping me heehee!!! ^^ (: Thanks wee you're such a good friend, i totally missed you!!!

so glad that we're talking again WOOTS! :D

And, today i had chinese mock exam and modern dance and hip hop workshop at Serangoon Gardens' DF.

Chinese mock exam went ok, my hand REALLY cramped up halfway through paper 2!

Paper 1... Well i didnt study much so.. I'm hoping it was ok o.o I think i minus mark for ge shi but err i'll pretend i got the mark since this time i didnt study much :P

Did bzbd. If i do ok for bzbd i will switch back to doing bzbd. Usually i never get above like what, 42 for bzbd?? Whereas qing jing if i don't li ti i will get at least... 44, 45...?

Though sometimes i hit 50 even.

So... statistically, better to do qing jing.

But if i li ti, which is not impossible,

i'd get a failing mark.

So... hopefully my bzbd improved, using this mock exam's marks to decide what i do. (:

Paper 2 was like.. I dont want to say it's easy cos i know my mark probably still won't be that high cos, well, IT'S CHINESE. But it really felt easy!

I mean, i understood everything la so.. Hopefully i hit the right points i guess! (:

MODERN DANCE AND HIP HOP WAS A TINY LITTLE HEADACHE.

I was still happy throughout cos

i mean it's dance!

But OMG the warm ups were..

Actually they werent very bad o.o But i haven't done jacky's warm ups in MONTHS so... It felt bad!

Either way my abs are more pronounced now HAH so... Worth it lor. :(

The torture and the discovery of a whole new level of screwedup-face-of-pain was worth it. :(

Modern dance was... What i expected i guess :O Very.. Ballet-y, super different from hip hop.. Not really all about being straight-backed and whatever it felt more like contemp.

It was cool. (:

AND I SUCKED.

HAHA.

I'm signing up for the class though! For two reasons:

I hate sucking LOL so i'm going to work hard until i don't suck

Jacky says a dancer must be versatile, and be able to master many styles

THE INSTRUCTOR IS SOME PRO DUDE WHO TAUGHT RG DANCE LAST YEAR!! :O

Oh that's three reasons.

Lazy to change that part on top ho hum.

Wa damn zai okay!

And he's so friendly and nice, too!! :D I really like him, i hope i can learn well from him!

My technique and style leaves much to be desired bleh :P

Freddy, who teaches at O School as well, was the instructor for Hiphop

I got the dance, THANK GOD. :P

I hate it when i don't master the dance within the lesson :( It's just me being a little perfectionist though so.. yeah...

BUT I MEAN, I STILL DISLIKE IT!!! :P

But anyway i got it this time WOOTS!

Apparently today's was only Advanced Beginner though, cos it was an open-to-public workshop.

Tomorrow Freddy will be taking over Jacky's class at SK, so...

Then he will give us real advanced shit.

Shall actually pray beforehand.HAHAHAH jkjk (: (:

Can't wait la, honestly!!

He. is. damn. pro.

He's been under a 5 year contract with jyp, and has danced with SHINee and Big Bang!

[p.s. i totally can't think of 'Big Bang' as a band anymore cos of Philo. Whole day talk about Big Bang Theory!!!]

His contract is just ending i think!

And he graduated from some Broadway thing in New York, majored in dance in Japan, and just... DAMN he is good!

He has taught overseas and stuff!

And he's still so friendly and humble.

Inspirational success stories. :')

Was just talkign to Elaine yesterday and...

I really know what i want to do in life now. (:

Damn sure.

Along with everything that came during Options, i'm damn sure.

Freaking sure.

Super sure.

So sure.

Going to study math now BYE ^^

2011-09-30T00:53:00.002+08:00

Just had a good talk with wee... (: YAY i am glad we are talking again!! xD

Hmm he got smarter.

LOL!

Pretty scared of what is to come, what will change and .. welllll, what won't.

All i know is NOW i'm pretty happy though. (:

Wee is right though and i'm scared that it won't be what i thought it was,

but i'm pretty sure it is.

But i've been wrong on many occasions.

Shrug.

So..........

WELL. :/

It's the first time it's ever been like THIS so i guess it's a plus.

But idk...

AHH idk. :(

I THINK TOO MUCH

WHY is it not simpler?!

It's always simple in movies/on TV!!!

Anyway, i felt this song expressed my feelings correctly,

until i actually saw the translated lyrics. -.-

I guess my impression of the song was formed cos of Jacky's choreo LOL. Cos at least it ends happy in the choreo.

Weelll on a side note,

OPTIONS SUCKS.

Ok la no it doesnt :D

But i really really .. omg WHAT WAS I THINKING when i chose Myth Buster Physics!! It is possibly the most CRAP boringest module ever!!

The past few lessons were on dang CRITICAL THINKING!

But at least now it's starting to become more exciting hahaha Ms He also said that the previous few lessons were dry.

Today we did an experiment, tried to charge my iPhone with an onion..

Didn't work and now i just have a cable which smells like onion. :(

We live and we learn.

Ah well, gonna fly now

SLEEPYSLEEPY (:

Nightz!!

~ who ever said it was easy?

it's tough, but that doesn't mean it's not worth the fight.

'cos i would pay near any price

for happiness.

~

2011-09-28T23:20:00.001+08:00

I'm not together w Ernest Yee.... I thought we were all over the stage where people were deemed to be tgt once they were seen together..Not.. With.. Ernest... Kay... T.T

2011-09-27T19:23:00.002+08:00

Going crazy.

Having a near constant headache trying to figure out what to do, yet deliriously happy every moment of the day.

The shit?!

I'm stressed,

frustrated,

going nuts!

But there's really nothing I can do anymore now LOL isn't that just annoying!?

Sigh.

Wrong time.

Right ___.

What what what gonna happen neh?

This is nearly completely foreign to me, and you'd think it wouldn't be LOL but it is, strangely enough.

It's not that I don't know what to do, it's just that I don't know ... what i WANT to do.

o.o

What a suckyass situation.

Sigh.

I especially hope I'm not overthinking things.

I think it's better to just, not expect. But who can do that, right?! -.-

My fear of disappointment/regret/heartbreak is so sadly acute (well, just like any other teen's i think), so it's like...

jing4 tui4 liang3 nan2, you know???

yi4 gen1 la4 zhu2 liang3 tou2 shao1.

BRR!

I... like to think that i got abit smarter,

but i don't trust myself with that cos i thought the same thing over the past few years LOL.

So i'm not gonna trust myself to do anything because really,

i have done some real stupid things in my life. :P

So...

taking every step cautiously i guess...

Yet at the same time it's already too reckless, and i'm already going too crazy and out of hand.

APPARENTLY,

I DID NOT REALLY MANAGE TO LEARN SELF-CONTROL.

Sigh.

I am going to lie on my bed and grouch about the stress of it all.

...

Did i mention that i haven't felt this way since like, ever?

2011-09-26T22:32:00.002+08:00

There i was again tonight, forcing laughter faking smiles

Same old tired lonely place

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?" across the room, your silhouette starts to make its way to me

The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you

All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling don't you let it go,

I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up, 2 a.m. who do you love?

I wonder til i'm wide awake

Now i'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say

It was enchanting to meet you

All I know is i was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling don't you let it go,

I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew i was enchanted to meet you

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone,

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that

This was the very first page, not where the storyline ends,

My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again

These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else,

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you

2011-09-25T22:46:00.003+08:00

THE WEEK IS OVERRRR! (:

Omg it's been crazy but.. Well. :( I'm so sad it's over HAHA.

Styletz went for our audition today, but we didnt get in, sadly.

We practiced so hard

They said they loved our energy and how neat we were,

but our whole dance was super 'Pop'. Didn't cover enough genres. :/

And ernest the genius also said we only danced for 4 months T.T Facepalm.

So.. Dunno la all the factors pooled tgt, basically we didnt get in

I truely believe we did well though, and i'm pretty proud of us (: We did the best we could w the choreo, but i guess we just didnt have enough experience to come up w a winning choreo and concept!

Ah well, we live and we learn >D

It really felt so awesome though, people we didnt know cheered for us (though probably also because Sub apparently looked like a certain big shot in NRA hahaha!!),

we made new friends,

got lots of 'OMG YOU GUYS WERE REALLY GOOD' afterwards,

and ppl came to take pics w us hahaha!!! :DDD

It was a lot of fun la (:

I guess we don't really feel sad.

As weihing said, IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING :')

It honestly feels a lil peculiar for me, but well.. Is it possible that i really love both Styletz and DFunkatron? (:

Shall have to learn how to balance it all though but yeah,

the two crews are so diff anyway, i guess it wouldnt be that much of a prob. (;

I must make sure i don't compromise on my commitment for one because of the other's though.

Shall work hard, COS IT'S WORTH IT!!!

Anyway i'm also super happy cos we decided to stick around as a crew. :')

I've really had a LOT of fun w this whole group of ppl in the past week, and it's just so weird that we went from (mostly) strangers to good friends within a week...

Haha this' what circumstances does to a team of ppl.

Forces them to reconcile differences, and learn to accept each other i guess. (:

Not that it's been entirely smooth sailing and easy of course..

But well...

this is just the beginning. (:

Really really love our perf!

No one took a vid, sadly..

But we have one of our latest prac vids on facebook woots!

Weihing's gonna unprivatize it soon i thinkz.

Whatever it is...

WE STILL HAVE $80 WORTH OF PLAY NATION VOUCHERS HAH!

WE SHALL PLAAAAYYYYY AFTER THE GUYS' EOYS! MUAHAHA!

Really had a lot of fun w everyone, very glad that i got to make these new friends. :')

Today was really damn joke la haha :D

Hmm..

Yeah, when we came out there was a bunch of supporters still half cheering for Subastian LOL and then this bunch of guys were like WE LOVE YOU and i smiled back at them they were like OH WE LOVE YOU, PURPLE BAG GIRL. And then i was like OH YEAH LOVE YOU TOO

HAHA then they all went crazy liddat THEY DAMN HIGH, it was super funny!

Then another of their friends who were in a crew were like ME ME ME

and then they were like OMG YOU CAN'T SEE MEEEEE YOU CAN'T SEE MEEEEE GO AWAY!

So epic. :D

I really love singapore's dancers, most of the dancers i meet are always so damn friendly and FUNNY! (:

Went to Scape afterwards too, with JAS QIANYAN AND ZHANCHUN haha they came to support us (:

We were gonna use our Play Nation vouchers, but sigh stupid place was full..

So we went to 360 degrees. That thingthing.

Played kinect.. Is that what it's called?

Anyway, PLAYED DANCE CENTRAL AND SOME ADVENTURE THING

OMG DAMN FUN!! :D

But damn tirign seriously T.T

Tried to play pool too..

Weihing and ernest tried to teach me...

I'm sorry guys, i'm a failure.

HAHA next time i'll just watch, k???

Anyway..

Time to study math already.

Must go finish chi homework tonight AHH!

Bathe and SLEEP by 1230!!

What a week it's been. (:

Back to reality tmr. :(

~ and on a side note,

emotions are a great big bitch.

2011-09-23T02:03:00.002+08:00

Looool getting damn lazy about blogging.. Will still just .. record down thingthings so that i'll remember them though :D

Silicon memory hhahaha!

Past week's been majorly PACKED!

Been reaching home at 10pm on average every night, practicing for at least 3 hours per day at RJ w Styletz! (:

There was some drama on Tuesday too but let's just not talk about that cos there's no point bringing it up.

Everyone learned and grew yay us <3 But yes, i love all of us very much and i truely Thank God for everything that happened because i believe that everything happens for a reason, whether i knwo it or not.

Like vic smsed me just now, it's all in His big plan (:

And after everything on Tues, things did get so much better. So i am a happy child yay. :')

Acutely reminded of certain probs i have to solve though. Problems with myself hmmm. It's ok, one step at a time!! (:

Anyway, Styletz prac has been going GREAT i really love what we've prepared!!

I hope we get to the finals... If we don't i will be pretty disappointed cos we put in so much effort and time.. Especially the guys, with their EYAs coming.

But well... I think it was fun anyway (: I don't regret it haha had such a freaking good laugh everyday. :D

Hopefully we get through!! I really think we can!

Gotta up the showmanship and synchronization i guess.

Either way i'm proud of how much we've improved :D I'm super proud of our dance now heehee i think it's great <3

... That sounds pretty egoistic but i'm proud of our hard work la that's all :PP

DFunkatron prac starting this sunday - CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN MORE CHOREOOOO! Damn sadded that i'm missing 'Shouldve Kissed You' from Jacky during normal class thanks to the comp audition..

But well, CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN LYNETTE'S LYRICAL CHOREO!!

Now i seriously like lyrical thanks to Should've Kissed You. :DDD

On the flipside, Options have been.. Err. Not what i'd expected :(

Myth Buster Physics was disappointing LOL but at least my teacher's so nice and friendly!

(And pretty, may i add HAHAHAHH)

Philo is.. Well it's only been one lesson so..

It's pretty much what i expected, but i was pretty exasperated in the first lesson cos there was nothing indepth.

Tmr i'm going to have to FLY from phillo to TLL... Dunno how i'm gonna do it, maybe i will brisk walk to Orchard then take mrt..

It may work!!

Shruuug.

KKAYYYYY VERY TIRED.

BAIBAIZZ!

ohohoh AND WE SAW CASS TODAY AFTER PRAC!! :D

Me and dawne went to j8 and we saw cass!! <33 Omg so zhun la! ^^ And she was with melvin teeheehee!

We took pics, shall wait for dawne to put hers on fb.

Lazy to put mine up right now..

Going to sleep.

Just spent forever uploading long overdue KPop Teens pics. :P

BYEBYEEEE :D

Keep the faith homies! <3

2011-09-16T20:43:00.003+08:00

EYAS ARE OVAHHH! OOOOOVERRR!

GONE!

THING OF THE PAST!

OVERRR!!!

K, except for math.

Shrug.

And i have HCL O levels.

Shrug.

I can deal with it.

Shruggg.

Have had a crazy week and i'm just insanely happy that IT'S ALL OVER! (':

I ... can't say i did my very best, but given my health and my many other circumstances i think i dont have any regrets.

Rjc will be a new slate, anyhow. (:

Will learn to work harder next time, not just earlier. :P

Live and we learn, live and we learn.

I realise i did not post about KPOP Teens yet!!

Madness.

Sigh it's been a week, sad sad sad that i did not post earlier :'(

Semi Finals was... not very good, apparently haha! Jacky said he could tell we were nervous!

But we got in so YAY! (:

I'm very happy that we got to the finals cos THEN WE COULD DO CHITTY!!! ^^

I LOVE CHITTY!

Not just cos of the cool part where i get to shakey shakey in the middle LOL but i like that whole song in general, the whole ... wordless part!

Only had one supporter. BUT THANK YOU STILL ERNEST HAHA YOU DA BEST!

Sadded that most of my friends couldnt go cos of EYAs. Not that i blame them of course - i probably would have if it was the other way round too!!!!

Anyway, we didn't win a placing for KPOP Teens, but it's quite okay la we don't feel bad (:

Just more motivated!!

The other teams were SERIOUSLY good!

Like simidaiji!

DAMN THEY CAN DANCE!!!!

Will make use of all the time i have on my hands now to really work on my technique.

Past 2 years i've learnt a lot of choreo and stuff, but my technique's still a bit weak,

and i think i definitely need to grow back my GUNS hahaha :D Okok just muscle.

The pneumonia made me damn WEAK!! :(

I feel pained watching my kpop teens finals video LOL but it was quite sync (except for some parts lalalaaaa :P) so i still love the perf. <3

love you dfunkatron (:

Damn, the bond you build over stuff like this..

Priceless!! (:

Anyway, second eventful thing is I FORMED ANOTHER CREW!

DEFINITELY NOT NOT NOT NOT LEAVING DFUNKATRON NO WAY IN HELL!!

But i formed another one with dawne, ernest, weihing, weizhang and subastian.

We just decided on the name today!

STYLETZ.

Lol! ^^ We googled something and there was some list of words so we just picked a cool-ish sounding one ^^

There's ALWAYS one competition or another, i guess i can join stuff with both dfunkatron and styletz! :D

We're joining this competition called Soul + Dreamz 2011.

Audition is next saturday and we only JUST had our first prac today though so...

I'm pretty worried but

MOTIVATED AND EXCITEDDD!!

Weizhang taught us Dopeman today at RJ (speaking of which i went to hang out w my busybusy elder sis for awhile and got to meet some of her classmates!! ^^ It was preeeetty interesting TEEHEE! Finally got to meet people she always told me about.)

and then i taught My First Kiss.

We havent even decided on the last song..

Brrr..

THINGS NEED TO MOVE FASTER!

STRESS STRESS. :P

Had lots of funfunfunn yesterday too, with CMMEN <3

AHHH, SEC 2 TIMES. :')

LAUGHED like crazy with them. Oh damn. Love yall!!!!

We watched Smurfs together, too.

EPIC. Me and mayo just went MAD at first, singing Teenage Dream at the top of our lungs,

then suddenly a couple walked into our theatre...

MOODKILLER.:( :( :(

Haha SOMEDAY WE SHALL FIND AN EMPTY SPOT AND SING LIKE WE'RE DRUNK!! (:

Kkaezzz gtg now. BAIZXX!

FREEDOM. THANK YOU GOD.

2011-09-14T16:01:00.000+08:00

Yayyy i love dfunkatron :')

2011-09-07T02:26:00.013+08:00

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE ITEM 15 IS ON FACEBOOK!!!! Link:http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10150300911509936&set=vb.637149935&type=1&theater

I loveloveloevloveLOVE our slumdog millionaire item omg i'm so glad it went well :')

Really man when your choreography goes onstage.. You'll really feel so freaking awesome!!

Anyway i'll post my own concert pics first tralala!~ Waiting for my elder sis to come home..

She popped out to buy prata..

Grr can't go to sleep til she's home :( It's so late already!!

Shall post the actual dance pictures another time when all the pics are out!

2011-09-05T20:15:00.003+08:00

TEEHEEEEE imma quickly post photobooth pics from my sister's laptop teehee!

She has the Lion OS so there're all the cool effects!

It's ok.

Acer's cool too.

This is me currently stealing my little sister's mac tralala~.

FROGGY ME.

Hehehe one fateful night me and my sisters decided to stay up and be pigs. (Y)

BUGS-R-US!

CHIPMUNKKKK!!! <3 I FRIGGIN LOVE THIS!!

Us just being us. <3

2011-09-02T22:45:00.009+08:00

I was going to post a very long rant(?).. lament la lament on how sad things are nowadays and how much i wish i could change things.

Like people.

But i know i can't and i have no right to.

But well, help?

Then again help is subjective - who's to say that a person would want the help? If they need it but they don't want it, of course it should still be given, but at that point then how much can you push if they won't help themselves?

Anyway the main frustrations were:

people going all freakyass about their looks

worries about studies

worries about success

THINKING that we can't do it - even when we actually can.

Society has screwed us all and we don't even know it.

Actually i think most of us do lmao.

Yet we're stuck in the chain anyway, cos. That's society for you.

It screws with your mind.

Allllll the time.

I get all freaky about my looks as well -

oh damn bad hair day

oh damn fat day

oh damn PIMPLES

oh damn funnyass nose

oh damn elephant thighs

oh damn gorilla arms

oh damn damn damn

Happens all the time, more often than i'd like.

But aww cmon heck it it's not like people expect perfection out of you! And if they do then HECK throw them down a rubbish chute and put a padlock on the door thingthing.

I don't LIKE looking bad nor i SUPPORT looking bad or something

I just hate the expectation of perfection, and no less.

If we all heck-ed our appearances then ... that'd be... a pretty funny world.

It wouldn't be possible anyway.

PERFECTION, or even NEAR-PERFECTION shouldn't be a must though at the very least!!

I'm so IRRITATED AND UPSET when i see people doing that cos i want to grab them by the neck and shake them and go HOI HELLO YOU'RE FINE YOU LOOK GREAT YOU'RE HEALTHY AND AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT A GOOD LIFE AND A GOOD FUTURE AT LEAST YOU'RE WHOLE SO DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH YOUR LIFE.

But no, social norms dictate that i shut up about my specific feelings.

...

Anyway i'm not goign to type anymore cos i feel bloodyass weak (lol i'm so obviously in a crabby mood) thanks to the freaking kfc i had for dinner.

Oh dear God. I have learnt my mistake, no more KFC when i'm sick.

I couldn't get past one chicken drumstick's worth of chicken and i've been rolling around in pain since then.

I PANTED like crazy when i brought my bag upstairs (just ONE level k not even to the third floor!!!)

And then i had to lie down for about ten minutes and sip warm water before i could get up.

So pissed at my pneumonia.

So pissed pissed pissed.

So pissed that i have 5 DAs.

So pissed that i suck balls at dancing now cos i just have no energy to sustain a performance.

GRAAAAAHHHH!!!

Shall have faith.

And now i will put pictures.

Hurrah.

ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

(I miss Mr Grosse's lessons D: )

Bonyass hand. Which is as weak as it looks.

WEAAAK.

TRALALA

2011-09-02T14:55:00.001+08:00

Studying at Starbucks at nex with my sisters right now!! (: I'd post a pic if I could but using phone to type this, so I can't. :( Shall blog later tonight, head is TEEMING with random thought bubbles just waiting to explode and kill my brain. Plus I have pics to post!!!! Kk. Reminder done. Tata~!

2011-08-31T23:19:00.002+08:00

I WASSSSS very excited and about to post a pic from my little sister's photobooth that we took a few nights before... Then i realized that it's in her account and not this lousy guest account!

Dammit!

The limitations of not being the freaking computer owner.

WOAH macbook pro even has autocorrect!

HOW FREAKING FUN!

I am trying out all sorts of random ass words now.

blop crinkle (WHAT, CRINKLE'S A WORD???) figgie (THAT CAME FROM JIGGIE!!!) shimmy (THIS CAME FROM SHIMMIE!!!).

HOW EXCITING!!!!

Ok nvm anyway i had a sudden urge to post in the shower... Is that weird yes it is hm nvm.

Regardless.

Went to school today lalala it was totally useless sigh but HECK i didn't miss my last day of official school in RGS. :')

Stood outside for a few moments with Alagu cos... the classroom was bloody stinky cos someone farted HAHAHAHA I'M SORRY I BETRAYED YOU 410 :P

And then we were like hmmm we should probably feel sad eh??

I tried to incite some sad feelings but nope.

Didn't work. :P i was like ohhhh man last day EVER we will be having school in RAFFLES GIRLS' SCHOOL.

...

Nope nothing.

I guess we'll feel it during formal farewell.

Which.. Would be after EYAs..

Which means i have to actually live past them first...

HELP!!!

Haha i'm actually coping okayyyyyyyyyy ish thanks to my previous KIASU-ISM.

So my one week of doing absolutely nothing in the hospital (and for some of it at home) was not TOO big a setback.

Though it is one.

Still very easily lethargic.. HAVE to have a nap after i study one topic. That's like, my max. :(

But still.. Working hard to cover at LEAST more than one per day... One per day is really really bad hahaha.

Thank God once again that i was so kiasu before my hospitalization.

Already studied at least some of most of my subjects, so i'm not dying.

Just got back Geog results today though - 15.5/20!!!

GRR!

HOW INFURIATING!!!

I've never naturally been good at essays la i just suck at expressing myself LOL or explaining things well - or more specifically, in the way and about things that the teachers are actually looking for.

Sigh.

So i never really ask for much from my humans and english..

But really CMON 15.5???? HALF MARK AWAY ?!??

ARRGH!

TEARS HAIR OUT!!!!

Now my geog GPA is like... 75..? though? Thanks to like my damned AA2.

Yet another thing i simply suck balls at.

I just suck at projects.

It's cool. Long learnt to accept myself for who i am. :'(

That is, someone who sucks at projects.

Sigh.

Nevermind. HARD WORK WILL OVERCOME EVERYTHING!

Work harder in jc ehehe...

EYAs EYAs EYAs!!!

Banking on physics and maths for my 4.0s.

Maybe bio but it's a teeny bit of a stretch.

Geog's definitely a huge stretch.

I don't think i can get 4.0 for that already, let's just try to maintain at 3.6 lol.

Bio.. hmm if it's 40% then maybe if i chiong hard enough i just may be able to yank my grade up to 4.0! It's like THIS DARNED ASS CLOSE to 4.0!

Midyears was frustrating. 5 subjects with 78%. And then there's chinese so, yknow. LOL.

Just had to rant somewhere...

Really need to get out all my stressful... stress..ings???!?!?! brewing in my head.

Regardless of whatever,

Come what may,

I know i have a path and that God will guide me.

I have never posted anything Christiany before cos i'm pretty awkward turtlez about that. Do all new christians feel that way? hmm.

Either way. I need a lil guidance.

But if there's anything keeping me going it's faith, when times get hard.

Faith in God,

or well,

just faith. (:

2011-08-29T16:33:00.005+08:00

(: I'm just back home from ze hospital!!

It's been a crazy past week sigh. Thank God i'm better now, and getting better.

Started off with a high fever last saturday, then i insisted on going for dance on Sunday to polish my choreography,

and also to stay back for Crew prac.

Crashed the second i got home lol i just fell straight onto the couch, couldn't even eat. Slept all the way.

Only woke up when my parents placed a cold pack on my forehead.

Then i spent the next 3 days in agony at home, doing my very best to study but really pretty much failing lol, before i finally asked my mum to please bring me to the hospital. D:

We'd went to the doc twice, once on monday and another time on tuesday.

But both times the medicines didn't work and my temperature was hanging around at freaking FORTY DEGREES CELSIUS, which sounds like just a number here,

but to me it's a reminder of MY OWN LIVING HELL.

Ok na kiddin :D

It wasn''t that bad.

Quite bad.

Not hell yet.

Wednesday night was the most eventful.

We went to KK Hospital first, but i missed the 'child' age by 7 months LOL so i had to go over to the nearest hospital cos of the high temp, 40 degrees celsius.

Went to Tan Tock Seng Hospital!

We took a queue number at first but don't ask me why, we got to skip the queue :O

Probably cos my face was like. Shit. LOL.

I was damn weak lol and i looked like shit so probably they freaked out a bit. I mean cmon a young teen, generally fit-looking, LOOKING LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING EATING HER FROM INSIDE??

Probably serious.

So yes once they took my temp they immediately sent me to lie in the emergency ward, on a cool rolly bed.

Emergency ward isn't REAAALLY emergency ward. Things move pretty slowly there i had to wait a lot.

There were a lot of old people and construction workers there though, which actually made me a little sad :(

I remember crying because one old lady was moaning a lot :( Granted i was already in crappypain.

So yeah.

Then finally i got wheeled in to see a doctor, who i am intensely grateful to xD Cuz she was very nice and friendly and well. gave me my first blood test. And also inserted the plug for the many various drips i would be put on for the next few days.

It was meant to bring my temperature down first though, that first night. They quickly pumped me up with lots of.. I think it was NaCl. o.o Don't know why hmmm.

Then i got sent to take an x ray, then i just waited and waited, then later got porridge yay.

Got admitted to the hospital then, cos the blood test said no dengue, but it also said INFECTION!!

Haha i thought i secretly got cancer, when my mum took very long to handle the admission. :P Been watching a lil too much tv... hehe.

I thought yknow, the doc was telling her whatever, and my mum was drying her tears or something before meeting me.

But na in the end the admission procedure just took awhile. :PP

So yay. NO CANCER WOOHOO!! :D

Waited for aeons and aeons before i finally got wheeled out - i think it was 12am by then.

It was quite amusing to turn my head to the side heehee all the old people in the ward gave me the OMG-WHY-IS-THERE-A-TEEN-HERE face, or the YOU-POOR-POOR-THING face.

Either way it was amusing :D

My ward was 13B, bed 30!

This' a pic i took on the way out. :D

Sigh there's not much else to tell anymore.. :/

Except that i had 6 blood tests which raelly weren't THAT painful.. Just a little. :(

2 x rays, an MRI Scan,

and also they took fluids out of my spine to see if i had meningitis - infection of the lining around the brain. :O

Oh yes - and i had sucky medicine, and stillhave to take it. :(

I love my nurses though they were so nice to meeee!!!! :D

I drew them a card teehee. Ok fine it can't count as a card cos all the material i had was a blue pen and a foolscap paper. But NONETHELESS.

I did my best. D:

I drew them hahahaha with my medicine in one hand and a syringe in another.

I was pretty sad for the first 3h i got home, cos i really liked the nurses. :P I think they were very amused by my chlidishness - i refused to eat the pills at first hehe and i begged them to pound them.Then later when they tasted too bad (the new antibiotics) i got them to just cut the pills in half instead so i could swallow them. :PPP

They said byebye to me in the byebyeeeeeeeee little girl xoxo way. :D

Sigh will miss them D:

And the relaxing ... lifestyle. Haha :D

Slacked around and did nothing all day long in the hospital!! I mean, i tried chem and phy but oh god my head was just like ARRRRGGHHHHH and usually i felt lethargic if i tried anything more than watching TV.

Still do. hands already aching.

So i will post pics now and be done with it.

My dreaded antibiotics

MY RIGHT HAND ON A DRIP :(

Me with my swollen left eye sigh had some funny bite there one night. Sadsadsad me. :(

Can't upload more pics for some reason. Another time i guess lala~.

I secretly miss the hospital. :X I dread joining back society.

2011-08-22T12:00:00.002+08:00

SICK AS A SICKOOOO!

Absolutely HORRIBLE timing sigh. I can barely study because my head aches when i sit up for too long. :(

I think going for Dance class yesterday may have been a bad decision. :P

Even though i slept through most of the day there, when other choreos were being polished.

Sigh. I still had to go, though, to polish LMHH and for DFunkatron prac.

Ah well, at least i also got to memorize a beeet more for chinese! (:

Memorized quite a lot when i studied w ernest in the morning MUAHAHHAHA i felt so cool when he tested me i was like HELLYEAH I MEMORIZED ALL THE STUPID PROVERBS!

On the first set of notes.

Now i have another set.

Jolly good.

Sigh, gonna finish up my egnlish argumentative essay now so..

byeee.

Dammit my argumentative essay sounds a little crappy.

Threw in a few cool words here and there but overall it doesnt sound very well-elaborated...

o.o

SADDED!

Bye!

2011-08-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

Today was actually VERY eventful but i have too much madness on my mind which i have to empty out, so i'll only actually elaborate on 2 specific events cos i want to remember them teehee.

1. I LOVE MY 410 CLASSMATES!! <3 Wa hell i will be damn upset when i have to leave them for Options, and THEN for JC...

I never realised it til we started facing up to the fact that we were near graduation, but

I really really love the good friends i've made in 410 yall are such a comfort to me when i have bad times/ stress out.

And most importantly yall always accept me no matter what, even when i do stupidass things/say stupidass things (which is often), throw random illogical and unjustified tantrums...

Ok the occasional WTP/WTF/WHAT THE HELL WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER teehee but it's always happy and gay at the end of the day and

I LOVE THAT WE DON'T HAVE ANY FACADES IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER!!!

Feel so at home with yall! <3

Heehee Ginteng i know you're reading this so..

Me and you.. Home.. (; (; Ehh? Ehheyyy??(; (; (;

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

Poh i will NEVER stop tormenting you, really.

Went for dinner w them - well KIND of dinner. Early dinner grr.

Went to Far East w them to eat before In Convo, had mega fun!

Joked like dunno what, usually at the expense of alagu. <3

I would post the pics but i'm damn lazy to find my iphone wire so nvm another day.

I love you gugu <3 You're so damn hell ass funny, you gonna be a happy girl when you grow up <3 (: (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY KAREN AND TING EN!! <3

Muacks karen i accept you regardless of your bitchface <3 And TingEn regardless of the fact that you're thinner than me, i will try not to hate you. <3 HAHAHAHA JK <333

I LOVE 410 WOOHOO REGARDLESS OF OUR DIFFERENT WEIRD ECCENTRICITIES,

I actually like our class dynamics!

Though really, keep quiet in class. D<

2. InConvo.

It was horrible -- I DO actually feel a little ashamed of what happened..

Sigh.

Ever since.. Sec 3 when i kena all the leadership roles (Class Chair, PSB etc) and I HADHADHADHAD to make sure i was behaving properly, I've really learnt to like be more respectful and pay attention to people speaking - though i am starting to lapse in it nowadays... I feel pretty bad sigh this is why regardless of how good you ever become you ALWAYS need a check. :/

Thus when i was sitting at the back of the CLC i was pretty damn horrified when i really saw all of us talking..

It was horrible

And i'm not being all teacher's pet-y or whatever (cos.. i'm.. pretty sure.. no teacher reads my blog... right ohmigod), but yeah well cos Me and Alagu kena sit beside, no wait BETWEEN two teachers we were like little angels. Or well, were forced to be.

So when i was actually FULLY CONSCIOUS of my behaviour at ALL TIMES, i started to become conscious of everyone's too - and thus observant of our lack of good behaviour.

It was really bad man i felt SO BAD for the speakers, especially the Director of Schools.

HE'S THE FREAKING DIRECTOR OF SCHOOLS HE'S LIKE BIG BOSS K AND HE WAS IN THE SAME ROOM WITH US, TALKIGN TO US IN A NICE, ENCOURAGING, FATHERLY/SUPPORTIVE MANNER,

and we were REALLY mostly having our heads turned to one side or the other - left, right, or down.

Brr i've made some presentations to crowds before so it is really true when the teachers say that they can see what we're doing!!!!

Can you imagine how diff it is if you can see a whole SEA of yellow/brown (hahahahhahhha sorry alagu <3) faces turned UP to DIRECTLY FACE YOU, versus a MESS of varying degrees of amount-of-face-able-to-be-seen.

I felt damn amused by me and alagu's predicament at first (we couldnt stop laughing for the first half an hour, it was damn HILARIOUS hahhaha we were SHUDDERING in our seats, damn funny!!!),

but after awhile i started to become more serious and omg i really thought about a LOT of things man, at the back of the CLC.

Firstly of course about the topic itself - my education.

Secondly about yeah..The behaviour thing - which Mrs Koh pointed out more than a few times to me.

Speaking of which i think i bonded with mrs koh or something during the talk LOL damn funny she kept commenting on how she agreed w the speaker, or how she thinks it links to whatever, blablabla.

And then later when me and alagu asked for her opinion on taking Geog in jc (cos actually honestly i like geog, but it's just that i rarely score 4.0s in it, only high 3.6s), she really took the time and effort to fully explain what Geog in JC will be like, and

try to explain to us, and educate us on what sort of things we should be considering in choosing Subject Combi.

One of the things she brought up (was it her, or was it the speakers themselves...??) was that if you're not bad at something, and you raelly have a passion for it, then just go for it cos you never know where life may take you!!

Yeah, definitely should not just stick to the conventional road and stuff.

But i dunno...

Right now at this point in life i dont honestly care what i do for a main career..

I just hope that i can be a good dancer and become a teacher one day w lots of students and do big performances and all that...

That's my dream.. :XXX (:

But i know passion can't FEED you so..

I still must consider very carefully whati 'm going to take in JC and thus do with my life.

I don't want to live a normal conventional life.

Like what they brought up today also - I WANNA EXPERIENCE THINGS!!!! (:

tralalala. (:

Sigh.

See where life takes me i guess. (:

Feel so bad about our behaviour today still.. I think Ms Hoo's words afterwards really made sense... We're 16, i think it's about time i learned how to be a more mature, less playful/childish person (especially at the inappropriate settings and times).

WENT TO SCAPE AFTERWARDS TO PRAC. FUNFUNFUN <3

I love DFunkatron WOOTS! KPOP teens AND YNDA concert are coming..AND EYAS ARE COMING!!

Going mad.

MADMADMAD!

I really hope we get into finals but well.. Let's just do our best, ehhh!

The other teams are so GOOD arrgh!

Nvm.

WE CAN DO THIS!

HWAITING LOLZ.

2011-08-17T15:58:00.002+08:00

Today was uneventful-ish. Usual thoughts about life, studies, friends, grades,. Oh right, that's the same as studies.

But ...

SOMETHING EVENTFUL HAPPENED!

(the day was only uneventful ISH.)

CLICK ON THIS LINK TO FIND OUT MORE. (; (;

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150352270414553&set=t.562213051&type=1&theater

But fine, if you're lazy...

DFUNAKTRON'S PIC IS FINALLY OUT ON TEENAGE MAGAZINE!!! PAGE 48 HEEHEE OMG I'M SO GLAD I'VE FINALLY GOTTEN TO SEE THE PIC!

I was so worried i'd look bad :PP Cmon man it's a big-ish magazine, i dont want to look like SHIT on a magazine!!

But phew it looks fine, THANK GOD!!

HERE'S THE PIC!

WE LOOK SO COOL!! I bet there's photoshop though LOL but i'm going to pretend i didnt know. (:0

Anyway, another cool shit happened - i flipped the page a few pages back, to Teenage Face of the Year, and then like BAM.

My childhood friend's face flew out at me!

Not literally of course.

I'm not saying who cos that.. May not agree with her??

But yeah, i was so :OOO cos she's like.. Ok we played at the playground a few times when we were p5ish? Then later we stopped, obviously, and i never saw her for a few years afterwards, then suddenly i think within this year i've seen her at least 5, 6 times!!

SERIOUSLY!

And the first time i was like mmmm familiar?? o.o But i forgot her name.

Then afterwards i FINALLY realized who and i was just like OMGGGG LIKE THE PAST IS ALL RUSHING BACK TO ME!

So yeah, when i saw her on the magazine i was just like WTPONG i bet the gods are watching from above and laughing.

Funnyass fate.

But yeah, i was damn freaked - HOW COINCIDENTAL CAN THINGS GET?

Anyway for the record i think she looks like she has a good chance of winning her competition siol!! Quite cool, Face of the Year.

But no - KPOP DANCE BATTLE COOLER YOYO!!

HWAIYAHHH!

Ok gtg mug now.

Sigh.

BYE! <3

2011-08-16T18:40:00.002+08:00

I will spend no more than 8 minutes on this post, and be off by 650, regardless of whether i am done or not.

Cos time is of ze essence and i have no TIME.

I'm usually quite in control of what i have to do and what i have to accomplish (procrastinate a little, no doubt, but i usually make up for it sooner or later).

But right now even while i have a pretty timetable planning out what i'm going to study everyday,

I can't help but feel like i am so in need of more time..

And i am just so stressed.

I hate using the word stressed cos when u use it you .. i mean well it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, and once you say it, you'll get more stressed up.

But really, i'm already stressed.

No point trying to deny it and try to act strong for now.

RIGHT NOW (meaning this hour) i'm feeling really flustered and crazy and just plain mad.

Not angry.

MAD!!!

I'll probably be better an hour later or something - yknow, sometimes bouts of anxiety just hit you like that?

But yeah. Ok maybe not.

Either way i will WILL myself some strength and resolve after my short mild err.. breakdown?

Breakdown is too strong a word.

Allowance-of-stress/weakness/fear and hesitation.

I am going crazzeeeeee right now!

Firstly i am unbelievably PISSED OFF by chinese. At first i was dismayed by my results, now i'm just PISSED. I got 35/70 fyi.

I was honestly just like WTPONGGG when i saw it cos haha i won't try to lie/pretend, i honestly thought it would get at LEAST high 40s.

Cos i really mugged like MAD for it and i swear, there wasn't 4 or 5 lines in the paper that did not have a ' jia ju ' or ' cheng yu ' in it.

So i was like WHAT? ARE YOU NUTS? SERIOUS?

Then obviously i figured it was that i went out of point. And yeah.

My classmates were like mmmmm probably.

So that was why, we theorized, my expression marks were freaking 20/35. Cos well, they can't possibly give me a remotely good mark cos i went out of the freaking point, so they have to minus the mark from SOMEWHERE.

So really, i already knew all this.

Then i dont know why but when my chinese tuition teacher read my essay today and confirmed that the shit marks will truely PURELY due to my out of point ness i swear a little part of me wanted to cry.

I mean ok that sounds damn childish and everything, i know, but oh my goodness...

It's like.. Damn.

You know what it's like too, i'm sure.

To work so, so soooooo hard for something, yet screw it up because of something small, because of something you overlooked...

Wow haha and i really worked quite hard for that test.

My teacher said i should have gotten at the VERY least 50, given the quality of my story.

So...

I guess there's no "regrets" honestly.

More of.. Disappointment and.. just a heavy feeling. Just disheartened, cos now i have to work so much more harder for my EYAs...

As if i didnt have to work DAMN HARD already thanks to KPop Teens and YNDA concert...

Which my mum is suddenly getting all pissy about again..

Wow.

Truely, the one image i can conjure to describe my current life...

It's just me facing this huge, uphill slope, with the peak being completely shrouded by the clouds.

I have no idea whether what i find at the top will be pleasant or nasty,

whether it will make the climb worth it or completely break my spirit.

But well.

I just want to get to that top now and let this climb be over and done with.

Whatever the consequence, i'll deal with later.

The only thing i can choose to do now is to work hard, hard and harder, so that hopefully what i'd find is a nice green meadow, instead of a desolate land of hell.

2011-08-15T23:05:00.006+08:00

Was goinggg to post something a little more insightful today but i wrote out a whole post on my phone, and ust as i was about to end off with ADIOS, my mum freaking called me and my post got deleted.

Really. -.-

So i really cannot bring myself to retype it ARRGH so... i'll post pics instead HAHA.

Cos i have a lot of pics in my iPhone now!

LOVELOVELOVE my iPhone i swear it's like my lifesaver it's so freaking USEFUL!

Except i can't save my class timetable on it so it's quite annoyinggg...

But nvm, nothing's perfect!! (:0

OH NO I FORGOT TO ROTATE ARRRGH. Whatevss :(

ME AND LIZA AND SARAH'S PICS WHICH WE TOOK TO SUPPORT 'WANT TO SEE'!

Liza and Sarah being retards on the left of the pic, and then me and liza on the right <3

My pudgy little pui chin <3

Me and sarah on the left!! <3 Haha sarah LOOKING COOL, AS ALWAYS. ^^

THE THREE OF US IN THE LAST PIC!!! <333

Don't know WHY, but recently i'm very taken by different sceneries. Is sceneries a word?

K anyway, i take as many as i can lalala. This' my current wallpaper! :D

Driving past... i cant remember where, but i knew we'd just passed Parliament house at this point in time.

RANDOM haha but it's from some Chinese compre. Found it pretty meaningful and relevant to what i was experiencing.

STOPPED AT BOAT QUAY THAT DAY TO WAIT FOR MY DAD TO PICK ME UP (Raffles Place mrt) and i was just like :OOO at the scenery.

Seriously, from where i was standing (outside UOB there) i could just see the whole long bank of the river and i was like. :')

Bee-yoooo-tiful!!

Taken with the lomo app on my phone!!

HEEHEE my grandpa cutting my younger dog's hair. <3

DFUNKATRON!! At Joy's birthday party. Oh man seems so long ago. :( Zongyi wasn't there though

HEHE. :X I'm a camwhore. Sorry. I'M SUPERFICIAL SO HELP ME.

- see, my bangs aren't ugly. REALLY! >D

2011-08-13T23:39:00.003+08:00

Annoyed, irritated, baffled, frustrated, exasperated.

Just a few mild words to describe my feelings.

Sigh i'm going to write a post now, and waste precious time that i'm supposed to be spending studying for Bio, rectifying whatever mistake i may have (according to some people) made in my previous post.

-.-

And in case you're wondering, no, i'm not deleting the post, because i HONESTLY do not believe that whatever i'd said there was wrong. I don't mean this in the MY VALUES ARE AWESOME I'M CORRECT DUH way, i mean this as in - no, you interpreted it wrongly, that was not how my post stated things and thus i do not see the need to delete my post since the post was honestly not a mean one.. o.o It wasn't even bitchy.

But i do nonetheless see how it may possibly be misinterpreted, so i'm going to post now to pre-empt any possible ... implications.

[P.S. if you're a DF-er, please just skip to the bottom, i'll bold the part where i talk about.. well not ABOUT df, but the DF part LOL.]

Okayyy, maybe before i post about my reaction to my own post (absolute madness. seriously? -.-), i'm going to tell you WHY i am even having to post this.

Hmm or more accurately and more .. suitably? WHY i realised that i should probably post this.

So basically what happened was, after i posted that post about how i was sad that for The One i got side positions for the whole of the song (please do NOT immediately jump to my formspring or to my tagboard and tell me how i'm so selfish. My sadness did NOT come out of selfishness. I will later elaborate. READ MY BLOGPOST PROBABLY FGS AARRRRGGHHHH!!!!)

After i posted, some... people, came to my formspring to bash me for being self-centred.

Oh, it was cleverly concealed. Or possibly i was too sensitive - but honestly, i doubt it.

Before i continue though: i am damn freaking grateful for those who either stood up for me, or encouraged me, or both. <3 I was really very touched, and though i am still sad, at least now i know that i am not truly 'left to the side'. (:

Idc whether i know you or not - i love you for being such a good person, for being such a good person to me. (:

So yes, but there's always a spectrum.

Here's what people posted: (and my replies).

YEAH, that's right, i'm posting your shit. I have nothing on my conscience and what you said was not true. Hah.

In chronological order.

Dancing's a team sport, you don't do it for yourself only, do it for the team yea? you need to learn to put the team infront of yourself. :D from an anon~

Your ego's broken, that's why you're sad.

You should feel good/bad only after your performance min chih. Cause that's when everyone wiill judge your team. Be a team player, we live in a community.

That's why girls should watch soccer. Why barcelona fc is better than every other club in the world is because of team work and not individual stars. From goalkeep(less camera time) to strikers. the importance of team work ish very very important de.

Lol. SERIOUSLY?

Ok first things first - don't get me wrong, i didnt just wave them all off and childishly/desperately go NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME GO AWAY, I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE SAD, I'M THE VICTIM BOOHOOHOO.

No.

Did not.

I'm a very thoughtful person, meaning.. i think a lot. HAHA not the caring/considerate person (THOUGH I AM, TOO (:0 Haha jkjk!).

I reflect a lot and whether i show it or not i ALWAYS ask myself whether what i'm doing is wrong, or whether what i've done is wrong. I ALWAYS try to be a better person, and though i know sometimes i do bad things cos i'm just simply not perfect, and i think bad things, i do really do my very best to limit those .. occurances.

So yeah when i got those questions i DID immediately ask myself - hmm am i being selfish here? am i really being a (pardon ze french) bitch and thinking that my classmates' rights do not matter?? I took extra time while i was bathing to think about it (and think HARD, mind you.),

and truly, honestly, sincerely,

i don't believe that my feelings came from me being selfish/self-centred.

Read my post again if you do think so grr - but just in case you're lazy, I JUST LOVE THAT SONG OH SO VERY MUCH AND I AM DAMN ATTACHED TO THAT SONG, I don't want to be in the CENTRE, but i don't want to be in SIDE for the part which i love the best at that!!!

Really, just pretend that you've been working up a nice piece of art, but your headmaster says no you cannot put it in the art gallery, because he would like your classmates' art to go up. Sure, of course you cannot say WTHELL they don't deserve it - i know i wouldn't say that.

BUT WOULDN'T YOU FEEL HELL DISAPPOINTED, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'D PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE DAMN VASE?!??

EURGH!

I think i've proved my point very much about how i am NOT trying to say that i should be in the freaking centre because i am the centre of the whole damn universe.

If you really don't BELIEVE what i'm saying then .. ... idga SHIT cos.. LOL i mean cmon if you gon' hate me regardless of what i'm trying to explain, then FINE be that way DO WHAT YOU WILL, i don't need your love if you can't even find it in your BRAIN to accept that HEYYY, what you instantly freaking JUDGE about people may NOT be the case!

AARGH, like, really?!??

Ok nvm now i'm just hysterical and so PISSED again i can't make a good case.

Whatevs.

But one case that is already formed in my head, i will make.

This is to the last hate mail on the list.

While it is entirely possible that i am simply prejudiced and overly distrustful of anons, i will admit, i do still think that yeah, that anon there in the first 3, was just trying to send me hate mail, and NOT trying to be constructive - which he's obviously trying to act like he was.

In fact, number 4 is probably the same person.

Cos yup, i have a pretty darn good idea who you are.

Once again probably prejudice, but.. hm. Experience tells a lot.

For your information (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I FREAKING SPELLED THE WHOLE SHIT OUT THAT'S HOW PISSED I AM), i do not feel in any way SADDENED or HURT or even SHIT ABOUT MYSELF because of your posts.

If anything i'm baffled and shocked.

I'm so .. SPEECHLESS as to how any one could be so MEAN cos it's like. Lol really, have you no conscience?? o.o What a shallow existence.

But anyway, here's why i think you're just trying to be hateful, even though you're so obviously trying to cover it up and thus make people think badly of ME and not YOU (aka not take it as 'cyberbullying' and thus not take it with a pinch of salt, therefore taking your words to be true. People usually immediately go OHHH it's just a hater so she's probably not that bad, that sorta thing, if it's obvious hate mail):

THIS is my response to the "soccer" question -P.S., it's thanks to that question that i realised who you probably are. I'm so shocked that you have become like this.

"LOL now you're so obviously just trying to bash me it's disgusting and I'm not even thinking "hmm am I being selfish" anymore - your attempts have backfired, genius. Cos I believe my argument/explanation/elaboration in the previous explanation is substantial enough to disprove your claim that I don't give a damn about my team members or that I'm solely intent on me being in the limelight. If you still fail to see THAT and instead stick to your same old point, OBVIOUSLY, you're not really giving a damn about my answers/my "character", but really just intent on being hateful.

Nice attempt, really, at concealing your cyerbullying - but no, it is so still cyberbullying. If your conscience can take that, well. Karma will get you."

I hope i've made my point.

If you still have something to say, please,

honestly, PLEASE - SPAM ME WITH YOUR HATE MAIL.

I am fully capable of fighting your argument. (;

Now, for my MAIN REASON for the post: THIS IS THE DANCE FACTORY PART BABES!!

Guys, please know that i LOVE you a lot. I really LOVE dance factory, honestly i do. I know i haven't been here very long, but i just love the culture here, and the values you guys teach me (classmates and of course, Jacky.)

I don't just love dance, i love the family we have here, and i love the friends i've made. I'm not the most naturally open person. I mean sure, i joke around with anyone/everyone, but i rarely treat people as my ... real, close friends type of thing.

Ok, not rarely - i ahve a lot of close friends.

Hmm. i don't do it easily, that's a better way to express it.

But really, truly, HONESTLY, i treat you guys as my friends, who i will be there for.

Even if we're not "have heart to heart conversations" type of close, just being part of such a tight-knit community with you guys has made me really appreciate you guys for the awesome people yall are.

Going to dance class every sunday is the one thing that has NEVER failed to make me happy.

Okayyy, maybe once or twice when i was emo about other stuff, but really, Jacky's lame jokes (HEEHEE), Xiao yue's cheeky comments, Zongyi's nice sisterly naggings.. I mean.. reminders.. (;

Oh God i wouldn't trade it for anything!

So if you had misunderstood me and thought badly of me after reading my previous post (as while i really did not have the intention of sounding selfish and self-centred i know that i may have come across to be so),

please i beg of you don't. :'(

I love yall very much.. I made a mistake in being too vague in my post, but please don't doubt me. :'(

I have no reason to post this at all, if i feel that my point is sufficiently made about how the haters were wrong. But yet i'm spending time and staying up to post this cos i want yall to know how special you are to me. :X

I would be absolutely unable to bear it, if i did not make sure that i had done EVERYTHING I COULD to make sure you guys did not get the wrong idea of me, and that i had done everything i could to make sure our friendship remains unharmed and dent-free.

Cmon, you guys know how long i'd been working on The One! I even told DFunkatron how i'd felt - see, i REALLY did not have the mindset that NO ONE DESERVES THE MIDDLE SPOT BUT ME. If i did, it would be totally off for me to tell the people themselves, right???

HONESTLY, the only reason why i'm sad is because of the all-the-way-to-the-sideness for my FAVOURITE song.

It's not that i don't think you guys SHOULDN'T get it - in fact you guys deserve it cos you've put in SO MUCH MORE TIME AND ENERGY into ynda 2011 than i have. It's just that i nonetheless wish i could get it too!

I love dance factory and i love all my classmates and Jacky of course.

Don't ever for a minute think that i do not believe in you guys as FRIGGIN AWESOME DANCERS!!

...

and now bio.Oh damn. bye.(:

More dance class tmr. I'm a happy child. <3

EMOMO

2011-08-13T19:00:00.001+08:00

Today was a day with mixed feelings...I'll post the happier things first cos for some reason I'm not so long-winded when I talk about happy things. (P.S. Cos I'm posting this via a phone app, I can't do paragraphing). PPS I'M POSTING THIS THROUGH MY PHONE BECAUSE I HAVE A HALF HOUR MRT RIDE AHEAD, AND SOME IDIOT JUST FARTED! CRAP! CRAP! Just KILL me now CRAP!!!!) Ok anyway. Happy: Went to Jurong for dance <3. Practiced w DFunkatron, but it wasnt productive cos jas and gina were very late. :( Did nearly 2 chinese compre passages while waiting for my items during the rehearsal, etc!! SHIOK! (: Still left the summary though, but I've alr picked out half the points. Sad: IT'S AT FREAKING JURONG DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR THAT IS :'( And also, I have to endure the long mrt ride, sighhh. Also, today was a fat/ugly/bad hair day. I think my monthly friend is about to visit. In my mind i'm like HELL TO THE NO I AM NOT FAT/UGLY/HAVE SUCKY HAIR. But still my heart is like :'(. Crying!! Not to mention I had to be oh so PAINFULLY reminded of The One.. Felt like crying the whole time when I was walking from Jurong West SRC to Pioneer MRT. :(. I hope Jacky doesn't see this. I doubt he reads blogs. But anyway even if he does - NOOOO I dowan formation change now even if you see this jacky. o.o Sigh. I'm damn sad about my formation especially since I'd polished this song and it's one out of the measly 3 songs I'm sacrificing my time for for the YNDA concert. ... Mostly cos I was IC for this song... Wow you cannot understand my pain haha I'm tearing in the mrt now wow am I too childish/demanding? Sigh. So this' why I don't want a formation change, regardless. Some lessons are best taught through painful experiences. This is one. Singapore's meritocratic and all, but sometimes maybe that's not the best way to go. Even if you work hard for something, sometimes it's more worthwhile and more meaningful if you let others enjoy your joy. Sometimes your happiness is truly not what matters most... This lesson isn't easily learnt just by others' preaching. If you're not innately people-centred, I guess this' just how you have to learn. This' just how I have to truly learn that I am not the most important person in the world, and that even if I give and don't receive, giving is still a beautiful experience that we shouldn't shortchange ourselves on. Even if from the start I'd known that this would be the outcome, I'd still have gladly taken up the job of polishing The One. Dear God please give me the strength to see past my own selfish desires and be able to live with what I have and be contented.

2011-08-12T20:16:00.003+08:00

Today has been eventful~.

Had macs breakfast in the morning.

LIKE A BOSS.

Felt super shiok teehee i gobbled it up before i even reached school though LOL i felt pretty bad that i was munching while my dad was driving.. But hey i offered!! (:0

It's not my fault he's health-conscious.

I think my parents are frustrated ttm now HAHA they were always like EH DON'T DIET OKAY DON'T OVERDO IT DON'T BECOME ANO YOU BETTER EAT MORE

Obviously, i took their advice. ^^

This is, as we say in chinese, fan xiao guo.

EFFORTS KANA BACKFIRE SIOOOOL!!

I'm a bit high now. NOT from happiness haha it's from.. delirium.

Ok before i go on to the sadder parts, i'll just talk about the possibly happier/gay-er/ABLE-TO-COVER-UP-MY-PAIN parts.

HAD A BATCH OUTING TO J8!! <3 Chin, Elaine and Evan were missing so.. SADDED!!!

But wa quite a good outing lor, it was so impromptu somemore!! (: Everyone else went!

I was happy we went haha we didn't do anything crazy or whatever, but we just had lunch, joked around, stuffed our faces, laughed at dawne's face a little, laughed at mine a little, laughed at bekah's pouchy cheeks..

Good fun good fun. :')

Here eez a pic of my fave batchies ever!!! <3 Can't wait for FAM. Can't wait for EYAs to be over la please haha i'll totally drag them out to go do fun shit!!

I'm sorry you're unglam bekah. DON'T HIT ME. :'(

Next, omggz had a family gathering at j8 LOL.

My little sis ran into dawne outside of pastamania or something and then she snuck into scare me. :( The whole restaurant was silent for awhile ok so embarrassing! Needless to say, she stole my food. Pfft.

Then, we went to Mos afterwards to buy MORE food (though in the end we didnt), and then i saw my elder sis!! Who was going to the library to study!

In the end everyone decided to fly off so i joined her in the library for awhile (Y). Didn't study anything.. But ehhey found out my Options timetable!!

DAMN HAPPY!! :D

ALL MY CLASSES are with Ningxin, can you believe it?!??

It's fate. One of them has alagu too <3 And one of them has doob!

Life is GOOD.

And guess who has NOTHING on monday wednesday!

EFFYEAH BABY.

Ok so anyway,then, to prove to myself that i DO look fine w bangs, i made my sis take candid shots of me.

Well obviously then it wasn't very candid. But nonetheless. :P

I couldn't stop from smiling/laughing/awkward-look-ing haha, see the progression of my face!!

BUT EH CMON LOR THEY LOOK FINE, RIGHT!??

EVERYONE STOP LAUGHING AT ME.

Everyone willstop laughing soon enough, i'm sure. :(

Sigh.

Sad stuff:

ENGLISH.

Oh mother. Oh father. OH UNCLE BROTHER AUNTIE SISTER GRANDPAWHATEVERRRRR.

It was so SAD!

I honestly didn't expect to do WELL la cos cmon english is like.. Sigh.

you just never know man.

But on hindsight i really could have done better - was i sleeping in the exam?!???

At least i didn't fail la so yay me.

To those who did/didn't get your expected grade:

DON'T GIVE UPPPP!!!

There is still EYAs, JIAYOU! (: Cmon sec4s huat ah haha we have 2 more weeks to chiong, that's so many days! Work a little everyday and there's no reason why we won't improve~!!

Going to chiong damn hard now.

Once i'm done with this post i'm going to bathe, then draw up a timetable for each day.

DISCIPLINE.

Actions have consequences - so does LACK of action!!

HUAT AHHH!!!

2011-08-11T17:23:00.002+08:00

I am going to spend a short 15 min and no more on my little rant/lament/word vomit.

Need to study bio afterwards.. And chem. Finishing up my notes on Organic Chem huat ah!! >D

But of course it's only on what Mr Tan has gone through so far... Nonetheless - doing anything early is still a plus! Bio is a headache, just got the Learner's Outcomes today.

Elaine says everything in the earlier topics'll only be tested in MCQ, so mayyybe no need mug THAT hard..

Still. They always come up with annoying trick questions so..

I'm still gon' be mugging..

EVERYDAY WE STUDYIN.

So anyway, i have tons of things on my brain so...

1. There's so much more to life other than school and just my school community!

I re-discovered that when I was chatting w my sisters- ok, mostly gossiping/stalking/WHAT-WERE-WE-DOING?? - during the past two nights. P.S. we stayed up til like, 4am on NDay and then 2am yesterday (but that was just me and my elder sis)

Horrigible. But it was damn fun haha joked about a lot of stupid things/read a lot of nonsense, blabla.

Particularly had fun reading through her class twitter HEEHEE. ^^ Damn funny!!

I hope my JC life will be like THAT.

So anyway - yeah man oh gosh my elder sis does a lot of stuff outside of school, so it's like.. Through her i get a tiny glimpse of what the real world's like.

Now i just feel like school is not EVERYTHING, and whatever happens to me now, is not the.. be all and end all.

E.g. my sis said this to me: Just think la, if in a few years you won't care, why waste time now caring about it when you can be doing something else that you'll be happier about then?

Ok last part was an implied thing.

But yeah!!

I shall do my very best to spend my time on more worthwhile stuff that will REALLY matter in the long term.

Can't say i'd manage it cos well i'm still a teen and i'm pretty selfish/close-minded still :(

But i'll try!!!

She said something else about how it's important to have different experiences.. Yeah. Like when i told her about my different dance class friends, she said she was glad that I got to experience a variety of people.

I guess it's true, we need to see things in a broader perspective - this' said ALL THE TIME by teachers/people, but it's not just about broader in terms of OUR OWN LIFE and what is in our own comfort zone. It's also about what is OUTSIDE our comfort zone, which we have not yet experienced, or may not even know of yet!!

The world is so diverse and there are so many things going on, so many different things to try out and different ways to go about living your life - it's so important to remember that!!!

I realized that i was starting to become quite fixed in how i want to do things - but maybe i shouldn't be like that.

Planning's good, but spontaneity's so much more memorable.

And well, Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

So why harp on having things be cookie-cutter perfect!

I WANT TO GO OUT THERE AND LIVE LIFE!!! (:

Can't wait for EYAs to be over.

As jaslin said just now - SHALL BE GOING OUT EVERYDAY TO PLAYYYY!

Maybe not everyday haha some days i will stay home and spend time w myself, maybe try to learn to cook a lil something... :P

But yeah.

LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED BABY.

2. Wtheck why's there so much hate on formspring again nowadays!! o.o

I don't actually care... Lol i think i've become very influenced by my conversations w my sister. She's super confident and i guess it's kinda spread on to me HAHA i didn't know confidence was contagious!

And ok, dancing helped me become confident too. :')

BUT OK OK THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

Anyway - I really don't actually give a damn anymore. :P FEELS GOOD!! So this is what it feels like to be confident.

Hm!

I mean.. If you hate me.. then.. SHRRUUUUGS sure whatever knock yourself out, have a good life siooool. I'm pretty sure i never did anything that i'd deem to be immoral - or the general populace, for that matter.

So i guess people will always be judgemental, have a few bones to pick with a few people, simply be disagreeable. That's humans for you!

Nothing to be done about it except lament that they must have such sad, shallow lives that they aren't even capable of reflecting on THEMSELVES and keeping THEMSELVES in check before critiquing others' behaviour.

Sigh, if you're someone who does these things (cyber bullying, emotional bullying, etc) - it's OKAY to not do it, really.

It doesn't make you cool, or funny to be such a jackass to other people.

I sound a little too harsh up there about the shallowness but ehhey i don't really believe that any human being is really THAT shallow to not be able to ultimately reflect and... repent?? (ok that sounds like too gay and dramatic a word)

Everyone makes mistakes and does wrong things in their lives - but i think what's important is that we do our best to right the wrongs afterward..

What sort of mark do you want to leave on this Earth when you leave?

Ok, minus all the anger at being insulted.. I don't honestly blame anyone for hating on me - if anything I blame that they disregard others' feelings so callously and hurt them without a second thought.

THAT is disgusting. :(

STOP THE HATE BROTHERS.

3. -- My parents' HC junior just died of cancer, and my aunt's dad just got cancer too.

Lol.

Suddenly have an acute, morbid sense of my own mortality.

Life is short.

Better live it well.

...

Mostly emo post LOL but errm..

FRIED FOOD DAY TOMORROW HELLYEAH PARTY AND PARTY AND YEAHHH!!

2011-08-09T23:54:00.007+08:00

HAD SO MUCH FUNNN AT NDP!! :D

I'll just post a few pics now, before i post more tmr. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!

I LOVE YOU <3

Hehe overdue pic from Joy! DFunkatron!! <3

Lookin like a polar bear w my hood up.. D:

BGGG pose! (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE~

The bubbles they blew during the Under the Sea part were DAMN NICE! PRETTY.

Singapore night skyline. (:

Ze girls in ze house~. My dad was taking the peechah. D:

My little sis. See how awesome my pic is??!

SEE HOW SUCKY HER PIC IS?!??

SEE, I SAW ALAGU THERE (and i also proposed to her many times on the big screen HEEHEE i'll upload pics tmr maybe.)

Me and my little sis. <3

Me and my elder sis! She only joined us for dinner afterwards T.T

K BYEBYE!!~ (:

Getting mah specs tmr. WOOTS!

2011-08-09T14:35:00.004+08:00

Shall make use of the short 1h i have now to quickly chiong out a blogpost (:

Going off for NDP with my family later! WHEE excited! I don't know why haha i think i'm one of the few people i know who's really taken by the propaganda. But who cares, GO SINGAPORE I LOVE YOU WOOHOO!! (:

Went to Chinatown just now with my parents and my elder sis. Stupid little sis stayed at home to study brr freak.

Ok fine i do that a lot too nowadays but HEY not on National Day man hellooo!!

It was a totally impromptu trip so needless to say i was completely unprepared mentally, and i was dressed totally inappropriately for the heat.

See ze pic for ze outfit. -.-

I was sweating like some mad dog grr.

But ehhey it was fun la fine, other than the heat. And though i stuck to my family-outings tradition where I played the role of the annoying complain queen, i was secretly quite interested in what was going on, and the temples we went to as well as the little streets.

The heat DID get to me, nonetheless.~

Tadaaa here are pics i took with my lovely iPhone's camera app tralala. ~

And this' just a random pic from Farmway LRT heehee!

Anyway i have nothing much to post right now - mostly because i'm too lazy to do it right now and i want to go write in my diary about Action and NDP and whatever cos i really want to revive my diary.

So, i'll just post overdue(ish) DFunkatron videos (;

We have improved so much brr IT'S A MIRACLE (':

I hope one day we can become as pro as IMP7CT!!!

First video - professional i think, from the HC people. Not the full dance but ah well it was quite nice (: And at least it's front view!

The only non-HC performing group they put up on youtube.. Hmm maybe they feel guilty LOL.

The whole thing, but from Side view. Courtesy of my cousin, jalyn <3

We were indignant afterwards, so we still took a video of Dr Feel Good in the basement studio of HC (;

Much improved from before!

CAN'T WAIT FOR ACTION VIDEO TO COME OUT!!

Dawne hasn't posted it yet. :( Bugging her for it!

Til then, TATA~

[what a media-filled post. :O]

ACTION

2011-08-09T00:14:00.001+08:00

MEGA sleepy/tired/needa go and rest now!! So I shall just post a short thingything since I can't bear to not post. In such a great mood right now thanks to NDP and Action! (: NDP not so much HAHAHAHA but I'm glad it's OVER! 410 pieced tgt our costume this morning hahhaha so actually I'm quite proud of our costume it was QUITE pretty lor! (: Not that we won but still, had fun modeling, awkward as I was. D: ACTION went great, me mayo Dawne crystal didn't screw up YAY! LOVEEEE Y'ALL thanks guys for putting up w my .. Hm how do I put this.. Uptightness and continuous pushing to prac more. :P felt really good after the performance cos everyone said the dance was nice and that we did well, so me and Dawne were damn pumped up on energy and went to do an impromptu performance of The One!! (: It was abit screwed cos the music was too soft at first then suddenly we realized it started and therefore started dancing late :( But I liked it!! Very upset that I will be at such a side position for The One for YNDA Concert... But well.. Gotta learn to 知足 I guess... At least not at the back all the way or wdv.. :/ But yknow I was the IC for that song and polished it so.. Yeah. Got quite upset yesterday.. But nvm, today was a better day. :') HAPPY!!NDP tmr, gonna go for the parade. CANT WAIT~ Bye!